It's Know Thyself, it ain't Fix Thyself

Your monthly guide to living a truly integrated life + some fun photos💫🥳

MIND Month

What does an integrated life really mean? Well, here’s what it doesn’t mean: an endless cycle of healing, self-help, and constantly working to fix, change, release, let go, be rid of, be done. It doesn’t mean finally becoming healed, enlightened, perfect, perfectly loving, wholehearted, all of the time.

Chris Williamson from the Modern Wisdom podcast said that the major podcasters are all heading in one of two directions: towards Jesus, or towards negating the self-help trend. As if on cue, Tim Ferriss released a newsletter doing just that. It’s pretty damn good. So I figured I’d throw my hat in the ring too.

A Cognitive Reframe for MIND Month

For me, the solution lies in a subtle vocabulary shift: going from “healing/helping/fixing self” to “knowing oneself.”

To know oneself is the highest form of human intelligence, NOT to fix oneself. When we know ourselves, we understand what makes us tick: the people, relationships, and events that have shaped us. This awareness allows us to optimize for the unique operating system we were gifted. We move out of autopilot and into choices made with intention and agency.

Once we have a clear understanding of who we are, in all our perfect imperfections, we’re ready to accept ourselves. Acceptance is the current that sweeps us into integrated wholeness.

INcension, not Ascension

Your shadows. Your perfectionism. Your neuroticism. Your sexual proclivities. Your abrasiveness. Your silliness. Your current weight. Your wrinkles. Your laugh. Your people-pleasing.

All of it is part of your makeup. All of it has a light side and a shadow side. And all of it can be alchemized into superpowers. Maybe we should stop striving so hard for ascension, ascending upward into enlightenment, and direct our efforts inward…INcension.

🪞 Integration Tip of the Month

Do nothing but look in the mirror today and say:

“I am a gift. Everywhere I go, people are happy to see me. They smile and encourage me at every step. Supporters and believers surround me.

I am beautiful. Every part of my body is perfectly shaped and a gift to me. I see beauty in everyone and I love every part of my body.

I am awesome. I serve others because I like to help, and I receive incredible joy from their happiness. I love my fellow man in every way, and they love me.

I am smart. I know that I can achieve anything I want and am willing to change my actions to achieve my goals. I see opportunity everywhere.

I am a receiver. I’m open and willing to receive the abundance of the universe now. I’m wealthy in every way.

I am forgiven. I’m forgiven for all the actions that I believe hurt others, and I forgive everyone who I believe harmed me.

I am a gift and am worthy of love.” — The Gift

Can you accept yourself, all parts of you, just as you are today, and let the rest be play? It’s all part of the cosmic play, the Līlā, anyway.

Where I’ve Been

You may or may not have noticed my newsletter absence. I’ve been simultaneously licking my ego-death wounds around letting go of my app and becoming nobody, figuring out next steps, and experiencing major life events.

Marriage. Baby. New home. Identity crisis.

Who says we can’t have it all? While getting everything I ever dreamed of, in the shortest time imaginable—the husband of my dreams, a beautiful baby boy on the way, a gorgeous home within walking distance of the lake—my nervous system crashed. Who knew that our systems need time to adjust to HUGE life events? HA! I shut down, got reactive and mean. My husband might have wondered at one point what he got himself into. “Easy comes, easy goes,” was a long time limiting belief of mine and the fear I felt was real.

With support from my community of friends and lots of compassion and grace, the rocket ship is landing. I’m beginning to feel all the goodness we created in such a short amount of time, and my creativity is returning.

Here are some pics and a video from the wedding we put together in 3 weeks. The power of our community here in Austin really shone through as everyone came together to make it happen. One friend said, “It was the kind of wedding that Disney would pay $500K to create.”

The moral of my story is… we are powerful creators and can literally design and produce the life of our dreams, AND sometimes when we do, we are confronted with the parts of ourselves that didn’t believe it was possible and the fear that we will lose it just as quickly as we got it. As it turns out, INtegration is 100% necessary for any big life event. We need to wire into our systems our new reality. I’ve learned a lot of humility and self compassion through this process. I judged others who I perceived to “have it all” and yet were still focused on the lack. Having experienced this, I realized their nervous systems just hadn’t caught up yet.

An important resource from our partners:

“Psychedelic Watch is an independent transparency project helping people make more informed decisions about Psychedelic retreats, facilitators & clinics. I research organizations, collect anonymous participant reports & evaluate factors like screening, facilitator transparency, safety practices, integration & operational standards. The goal is simple: help people identify high-quality providers, avoid preventable harm & bring more accountability to an industry that often lacks oversight.”

You can learn more or submit an experience at -Psychedelic Watch

Writing about INtegration and putting out tools for living a happier, more integrated life continues to be my life’s passion and purpose. While I’m still unsure of the bigger picture for TAP, I will continue to do what I can to make a little difference in my readers’ lives.

With love,

Olivia Eden MacDonell
Founder, TAP Integration

Follow TAP:

YouTube