I am returning, by no coincidence, for SPIRIT month. And Spirit, is what is bringing me home.

I’ve returned after a much-needed hiatus. I hit my breaking point at the beginning of the year. I tried to ignore, suppress, and avoid the voice telling me that I was getting off track, moving away from the sound structure of integrity. I was on the start-up grind and determined to make it work in any way possible. But “any way possible” was a far cry from the seed of purpose from which it began.

“DTC is the way. No, B2B2C is how we are going to do it. We need distribution channels. YouTube, Substack. Not Beehiive, Substack. You can’t make it without IG. Don’t forget about building community through in-person events. You are the expert, position yourself that way. That’s the only way.”

I was drowning in the endless internal and external dialogue of well-intentioned direction; outsourcing my authority to the experts. And I flat out, damn well, lost my way. One small degree at a time.

The Medicine Guides You Home

I’d been avoiding sitting with the medicine because deep down inside, I knew what it would bring. But after the final blow of an ending partnership, I knew I couldn’t take one step further without some clarity.

I sat with the Medicina and she showed me where I had lost my way. She showed me how I had switched into autopilot and kept building on a foundation that had long since lost integrity. Why had I started building TAP INtegration in the first place and how had I lost the plot?

What once moved with purpose and flow had gradually shifted to a creation of ego and fear. I watched myself let go and burn all I had worked so hard to create over the last five years—the identity I had built of Founder/CEO, how hard I had worked to “be someone.” She helped me understand that I don’t need any of it. I don’t need to be anyone. “Becoming Nobody,” as Ram Dass says, is what allowed me to let go and start again.

When did I start to believe that being a healer wasn’t enough?

Coming Out of It

I decided:

No more will I say yes to that which is out of alignment.

No more will I agree to projects that aren’t fully in line with my mission.

No more will I avoid sitting with the medicine to face my fears.

This year, I am doing less. This year, I am saying NO a whole lot more.

Starting again is unbelievably painful, but if the foundation has cracks, the whole fucking thing will crumble anyway.

Returning to the Core

What I returned to are the core principles that this project was built on:

Activate your mind. Know yourself, how you came to be who you are today, and then how to free yourself from that identity.

Activate your beautiful sphere of influence—your friends, family, loved ones. “What you get, give. What you learn, teach!” —Maya Angelou

Activate the World. With your newfound awareness, step into purpose, give back, be of service, and find meaning.

TAP INtegration and this newsletter(INtegrate) is here as always, to help you live an integrated life. What is next for us is still somewhat uncertain, but I promise you that as long as I have breath, and my feet walk this beautiful earth, I will continue to provide the tools and resources that have helped me to live an INtegrated life.

Thank you, beautiful psilocybin, for showing me my way home.

🌟 What We’ve Been Up To

Calling in the One Book Club

I started a Calling in the One book club. Shortly after completing it for myself, I met the love of my life; the relationship I thought was only possible in my dreams. We breathe, pray, meditate, move, dance, and grow together. We talk about our future children and the impact we are going to have. I couldn’t wait to hold a group with this magical book for others. If you haven’t read it, it’s a 7-week immersive workbook that will change your relational patterns forever! DM me if you want to chat about it!

Human Resilience Panel Series

TAP INtegration hosted a panel series on human resilience as the greatest superpower we have in the modern era. We continue to host and support facilitator meetups. DM me if you would like to join the next one!

Revolutionary Product in the Works

We have a product in the works that could totally revolutionize guiding journeys…stay tuned.

Moving Forward with Ease & Integrity

Again, only with ease and integrity will we move forward. Because I only desire to be of service, if this newsletter has served you or helped you in some way, please let me know. If there is something you would like to learn about or see more of, let me know.

🎧 Heart Medicine Playlist

Because I love sharing my JAMS, here is what I’ve been guiding my heart medicine journeys with:

Playlist link

As always, it’s an honor and joy to serve you!

With love and reverence,

Olivia Eden MacDonell
Founder, TAP Integration

P.S. Thank you, beautiful psilocybin, for showing me my way home.

Follow TAP:

YouTube | Website

Welcome back to The Integration Chronicles! This month, we’re exploring the BODY, nervous system regulation, somatic experiencing, and how we integrate expanded awareness into our physical experience. I’m excited to share this conversation with Chris, founder of MYFEELIUM, a microdosing company that’s making alternative healing approachable and accessible.

Chris talks about how plant medicine shaped how he navigated corporate environments, fatherhood, and ultimately, his leap into building a company rooted in love, compassion, and intentionality. This is a conversation about reconciling expansion with reality, how microdosing supports embodiment, and what happens when the universe pushes you into alignment.

The Conversation

Olivia Eden: Chris, welcome. Tell us who you are.

Chris: My name is Chris. I’m one of the founders of MYFEELIUM. We launched the company in the beginning of 2025, and we’ve really been focused on making alternative healing approachable and accessible. Personally, I’ve been working with this medicine since I was a teenager, and it’s shaped the man that I am today. Shaped me through adolescence, through corporate environments, through sports, through just my evolution as a man, as a father, as a husband, as a businessman. Throughout all of it, plant medicine has been a key conduit to me staying true to myself and being a beacon for people in my community, somebody that really focuses on promoting love and compassion and understanding.

Olivia Eden: You’ve told me that your first ceremony was at 15, and that really changed everything for you. I’d love for you to share how you were able to reconcile all of the understandings and downloads that came through that experience with corporate life and the vast difference that resides between the two.

Chris: I grew up in the woods as a Boy Scout, hunting and fishing, with a deep love for wilderness. My first psychedelic experience at 15 happened in those same woods. It opened up this profound understanding that we’re part of something greater—this interconnected nature where we’re all breathing the same air. It shaped my perspective of being in right relation with Mother Nature and helping others understand that through the energy I emit, a frequency of love and compassion.

That outlook is unique in corporate environments. My career revolved around go-to-market strategy and revenue generation, an incredibly cutthroat, anxiety-inducing industry. Bringing this perspective of love and compassion into a notoriously untrustworthy field has granted me tremendous success. My integrity and honesty became my competitive advantage.

There have been many experiences since that initial one at 15. They’ve helped me understand the importance of purpose, of doing something greater than myself. At the end of the day, it’s not all about money or financial stressors. That understanding has driven the direction for MYFEELIUM.

Olivia Eden: It’s interesting, once you start on this path, how the medicine allows for all of the things that are out of alignment, out of integrity in our life, to naturally fall away. It sounds like that path was sort of set for you to shift out of the corporate world. Can you tell us a little bit about what that experience was like?

Chris:It was jolting and traumatizing, candidly. I helped start a company that got acquired by a Fortune 500, and I was miserable in that massive organization. I felt empty, lacking purpose and legacy. My performance fell off a cliff, and the universe said, “It’s time.” I got laid off.

I had already met my co-founder, and we’d been toying with starting a company focused on making medicine approachable and accessible with integrity and intentionality. I took the layoff as a sign to take the risk and face my fears.

From a somatic standpoint, that was deeply dysregulating. The medicine my co-founder had been developing became a tool to deal with the stress and anxiety. I was also getting ready to have a baby—a lot to be fearful of. It was an incredible test to face these challenges from a place of gratitude, to say “these are meant for me,” and recognize the importance of keeping my nervous system in homeostasis.

I did that through microdosing, meditation, breathwork, movement, dance, music, and nutrition—leaning on all the tools we have for a healthy lifestyle.

Olivia Eden: For those tuning in, you don’t have to worry that if you start microdosing, your world will blow up and you’ll get fired or not want to work at your job anymore. But what you can count on is that it’ll show you where in your life you are out of alignment, where you are out of integrity. If you’ve been quietly suffering and quietly miserable, forcing yourself to continue in some trajectory that you aren’t fully on board with and that is not true to who you really are, it will reveal that to you. Going down the same path, if out of integrity, will become more and more uncomfortable.

Initially, it’s just going to start to increase your awareness. I’m really encouraging a lot of people in the corporate world to understand the importance of us bridging the gap between expansion and awareness and consciousness and the corporate world and those dynamics and those systems. We really need more people within those environments that are leaning into this expansion as well.

Let’s shift gears. I’d love to talk about how you have found microdosing to be helpful with embodiment and somatic regulation, some of your favorite tools for combining those two. Are there any particular products with MYFEELIUM that are better to enhance the somatic experience?

Chris:

If you’re looking for expansion in the corporate world, we’re building a community of coaches, guides, and resources that people can access.

Our process starts at cultivation. We don’t go near the medicine if we’re not in a place of regulation. We only work with it in states of meditation. My business partner develops all our offerings with binaural beats regulating his nervous system, because we know our energy leaves imprints on everything we create.

From the somatic perspective, microdosing grants me awareness. It’s the ability to recognize where I’m at in the moment and create space between myself, my state, and what’s happening externally. That’s been almost a superpower. It helps me slow down and ask, “Why am I feeling like this? What’s really going on?” Then I can implement the tools I have—breathwork, meditation, or just a little shimmy to move the body and break free of tensions.

We’ve developed different stacks with mushrooms and ancillary adaptogens: Reishi, Chaga, Lion’s Mane, Damiana, Yohimbe, Kava. We have a Soothe stack with turmeric for inflammation, a Focus stack with Lion’s Mane and Gotu Kola for clarity, and a Cacao stack as a gentle entry point.

Psychedelics can have a stigma, like you have to go to Peru for this time-intensive journey. But it can be gentle and incremental. Set, setting, intention, preparation, and integration are still part of microdosing. This is a gradual way to dip your toe for people who might not have the resources or capacity for a more expansive journey. This is the yin to that yang.

Olivia Eden: Psilocybin doesn’t tolerate compartmentalization. Even at low doses, it opens the mental compartments where you’ve hidden emotions—that childhood disappointment, the old breakup, everything you’ve suppressed. It also locates old injuries and stored trauma in your body, bringing physical discomfort to the surface for healing.

Having a support system to process what arises is crucial. Chris is building a facilitator network for exactly this. The goal is to create bandwidth for the emotions you want—happiness, joy, peace—and unlock embodied movement.

I know someone who was physically constricted and stiff. Psilocybin helped him open up enough to move and dance. It can transform your yoga practice too. For years, my mind wasn’t in the yoga room at all—I’d finish class and wonder if I’d even been present. Through this medicine, I freed up what kept me disconnected and learned to actually be with my body.

Chris: We’re working with some of our coaches doing fascia work with Human Garage, and it’s all intertwined. When we can really start to stack some of these healing modalities, the stories we’re hearing from our facilitators, from our practitioners, around people that are paralyzed, and they’re taking our Electrolyte stack, which is going to have magnesium, zinc, L-theanine, glycine, these compounds that our body is craving and needs. In conjunction with this medicine, and then on top of the fascia work and the breathwork and all of these things, the results are mind-blowing. Some of these stories that we’re hearing are truly like out of a comic book. It’s hard to believe at times, but it is affirming every day that we’re on the right path and we’re doing something so beautiful. For us to be able to be a conduit to it is so important.

Try MYFEELIUM today !

Olivia Eden: If you had to pick one integration tool that was the only one you could take with you for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Chris: I think it’s a little off the beaten path, but for me, it’s dancing and music. Music is such an important part of my life, and being able to, in grief, in gratitude, in happiness and sorrow, turn to music and move my body to dance, I think it’s an underrated one, but it’s for me so, so important.

Olivia Eden: That’s one of my favorite ones too. That is such a beautiful body integration tool and works so well sometimes with psilocybin. I’ll put on music and dance and I become the music. I am the music. So it works so well with the gift of music that we get to enjoy.

Is there a special offer you would like to give our listeners and readers?

Chris: Absolutely!

Use code TAPIN for 20% off anything in our store. That stacks with our bundle discounts: 11% off two products, 22% off three products, plus the additional 20%. Accessibility means affordability, so we’re focused on getting this into as many hands as possible. Order Here!

If you know someone who could benefit but finances are a barrier, reach out. We’ve given away more than we’ve sold. We’re here to be a conduit for healing. If we have to give it away for free, we will.

Beyond that, if you have questions, you can reach out to us through the website. You can follow us on Instagram. This year is going to be amazing!

Integration Tools Summary:

Microdosing as Awareness Tool:

• Creates space between your state and external circumstances

• Helps you recognize when you need regulation

• Grants ability to ask “Why am I feeling like this? What’s really going on?”

• Allows you to implement other tools (breath, movement, meditation)

The MYFEELIUM Approach:

• Medicine is only handled in states of regulation and meditation

• Binaural beats playing during cultivation and formulation

• Energy leaves imprints on everything we create

• Intentionality matters at every step

Different Stacks for Different Needs:

• Soothe: Turmeric/Curcumin for anti-inflammatory support

• Focus: Lion’s Mane, Gotu Kola, Ginkgo for clarity and productivity

• Cacao: Lower dose, gentle entry point for beginners

• Electrolyte: Magnesium, zinc, L-theanine, glycine for body support

• Reishi: “Mushroom of immortality” for immune support

Understanding What Microdosing Opens:

• Compartmentalized emotions begin to surface

• Old injuries and stored trauma become visible

• Physical discomfort may arise as body releases

• Creates bandwidth for joy, happiness, and peace

• Unlocks embodied movement and presence

Stacking Healing Modalities:

• Combine microdosing with fascia work, breathwork, yoga

• Movement and dance as primary integration tools

• Music as a gateway to embodiment

• Nutrition and nourishment support the process

Key Reminders:

• Set, setting, intention, preparation, integration still apply

• Have a support team for processing what arises

• This is gradual, gentle, incremental work

• Not a replacement for deeper journeys, but a complement

• Community and resources are available

DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational purposes only. The discussion of psychedelic substances is presented in the context of integration and personal development. Always consult qualified professionals for therapeutic support. The use, possession, and distribution of many psychedelic substances are illegal in most jurisdictions.
If this conversation helped you see something differently, please like, share, and subscribe. Your support helps us continue bringing these tools to people who need them.

Dearest,

Happy New Year! I love that we’re beginning 2026 with the BODY theme—there’s something so grounding about starting the year emBODY’d, fully present in our physical form, honoring the vessel that carries us through this life.

Before we dive into BODY month, I need to share something with you. This newsletter is an opening of the kimono. It feels vulnerable and tender to share this annual review. But my intention and hope is that it inspires you to be honest with yourself about changes that get to happen and dreams that get to be called in and manifested.

So here we go...

The Power of Reflection: Tim Ferriss’s Annual Review

I recently completed Tim Ferriss’s annual review questions, and I can’t recommend this practice enough. It’s not just about looking back—it’s about extracting wisdom, celebrating wins, owning what didn’t work, and setting intentional direction for the year ahead.

Here’s a summary of the framework:

1. What went well this year?

Celebrate your wins—big and small. What brought you joy? What are you proud of?

2. What didn’t go well this year?

Get honest. Where did you struggle? What patterns showed up that you’re ready to shift?

3. What did you learn?

This is where the gold is. What insights emerged from both the wins and the challenges?

4. Integrity Report

• What are your core values?

• How are you living in integrity with those values?

• How can you set a higher standard moving forward?

5. Goals for the New Year

What do you want to create? Who do you want to become?

Your turn: I invite you to do your own annual review and share your reflections in the comments. It’s not too late, we’re only one day into 2026!

TAP INtegration 2025: A Year of Growth

This year was monumental for TAP INtegration. Here are some highlights:

✨ Launched the TAP INtegration app - Making integration tools accessible to practitioners and clients

✨ Facilitator meetups across multiple cities - Including an unforgettable gathering in New Mexico where we deepened community and connection

✨ Women in Psychedelics grew to 500+ members - Creating more unity and support amongst facilitators

✨ 50+ journeys facilitated - Lives changed, marriages saved, hearts opened

✨ Presented at SXSW, ACT 2, and the ACT Conference - Sharing our framework with wider audiences

✨ Financial progress and sustainability - Building a foundation that allows this work to continue and expand

✨ Personal transformation - From spiritual awakening leading to Vipassana, to one of the best birthdays of my life (the first without overwhelming grief), to experiencing what safe, healthy love looks like

✨ Community alignment - Started the Calling in the One book club and Way of INtegrity work that’s rippling through our community

This work is happening because of YOU—the facilitators, practitioners, and seekers who show up with courage and commitment. Thank you.

My Personal Annual Review: The Raw Truth

What went well:

Connection, growth, spiritual awakening, community building, financial progress, harmony with my family, and experiencing safe love for the first time.

What didn’t go well:

I faced my shadow in ways I couldn’t ignore. Fire ant energy emerged at an Aya ceremony. I consumed too much alcohol and too many substances. I didn’t honor my body’s needs during the first half of the year. My dysregulation led to big ruptures in the community with people I care deeply about. I skewed negative/victimy for quite a few months. I lost a partnership. Stress consumed me and anger set in. I didn’t know how to hold it all.

What I learned:

The value of integrity. The power of my morning practices. My patterns in relationship. That I need alignment of values and lifestyle with my life partner. How essential meditation is to my life. How much changes when my nervous system is regulated. That compassion is a continuous practice. That not every partnership is right. How to work better in teamwork (still much to be done here). A renewed desire to be honest. And perhaps most importantly: that people everywhere are choosing me, choosing to work with me, to love me, to be in relationship with me.

My Integrity Report:

Core values: Harmony, attunement, community, connection, relationships, integrity, compassion, kindness.

How I’m living in integrity: Doing my best to be honest, to choose actions in alignment with my life’s path and purpose. To honor my no and my yes. To lean into hard conversations and say the tough, vulnerable thing.

Higher standards I’m setting: Complete honesty with romantic partners. Following through on projects I’ve committed to. Being fiscally responsible to my investors. Compassionate discipline with my schedule, waking at 5:30am to meditate so I have the capacity to finish what I set out to do. Better energy and time management. Taking on fewer projects and focusing on what really matters.

My 2026 Goals

🏡 Move into a beautiful home that feels like sanctuary
💍 Meet my husband and father of my future daughter
🧘‍♀️ Meditate 5 days a week
🌅 Miracle Morning 6 days a week
💪 Workout 5 days a week
📚 Complete the TAP INtegration course
👥 Set up the team we need to scale our impact
🤝 Leverage our partnership with Lotic to create technology that makes sessions and integration 100x better
🎓 Complete the partnership with Dr. Lida with everyone massively happy and changed for the better
📊 Use data from our technology to write papers that will help us bring our program to Texas
✨ Be worthy of the partnerships I have
😊 Be happy
🍄 Intentional psychedelic use only (details coming soon)
🎉 Maximum 8 social events per month

🧘‍♀️ Integration Practice for BODY Month: Regulate & Ground

To kick off the year emBODY’d, I’m sharing a powerful two-part practice that regulates your nervous system and anchors you in present-moment safety. This takes less than 10 minutes and will change how you move through your day.

The Practice: Vagal Toning + Orienting

Duration: 8-10 minutes
When: First thing in the morning

Part 1: Voo Breath (5 minutes)

1. Sit comfortably with one hand on your heart, one on your belly.

2. Inhale deeply through your nose.

3. Exhale while making a low “Voooo” sound—feel the vibration in your chest and throat. Keep it low and resonant, not loud.

4. Continue for 5-10 breaths, feeling the vibration massage your vagus nerve from within.

5. Sit in silence and notice how your body feels.

Part 2: Orienting (3-5 minutes)

6. Without moving your head, slowly scan the room with your eyes from left to right.

7. Notice 5 things you can see (really see them—colors, textures, shapes).

8. Notice 4 things you can touch (reach out and feel them if possible).

9. Notice 3 things you can hear.

10. Notice 2 things you can smell.

11. Notice 1 thing you can taste or the sensation in your mouth.

12. Take a full breath and ask: “Am I safe right now, in this moment?” Let your body answer.

Why this works: Voo Breath directly stimulates your vagus nerve, shifting you from fight/flight to rest/digest. Orienting then grounds you in present-moment safety, signaling your nervous system that you’re here, now, and safe. Together, they create a foundation of embodied presence.

This month’s commitment: Practice this combo each morning. Use Orienting alone throughout the day whenever anxiety or overwhelm hits. Notice how your baseline stress shifts over the month.

📸 Share Your Annual Review

I showed you mine, now show me yours!

Drop your annual review reflections in the comments:

• What went well?

• What didn’t go well?

• What did you learn?

• What are your 2026 goals?

Let’s create accountability and inspiration together. Integration works better in community.

🎯 What’s Coming This Month

Stay tuned for:

• BODY-focused facilitator meetup details

• Movement and somatic practices

• Guest interviews on embodiment and nervous system regulation

• Updates on TAP INtegration’s partnerships

Here’s to a year of being fully emBODY’d—present, grounded, and alive in every moment.

With love and presence,

Olivia Eden MacDonell
Founder, TAP Integration

P.S. The body keeps the score. This year, let’s make sure it’s keeping a record of joy, presence, and deep care.

Follow TAP:

YouTube | Website

Welcome back to The Integration Chronicles! This month, we’re trying something different. My friend Vanna is putting me in the hot seat to interview me about my recent 10-day Vipassana silent meditation retreat. This experience was one of the most transformative of my life, and I’m excited to share the integration tools and breakthroughs that came from it.

Vanna: Let’s start at the beginning. What made you know it was time to do this?

Olivia Eden: I’ve been wanting to do Vipassana for years. I first heard about it in 2020 during a big awakening through psychedelic work, but I was far from ready then.

Every year I call in a word as a theme. This year, my word was integration. My ask was to really fully understand it, not just intellectually, but to embody it and have that real experiential understanding.

In April, I did an Ayahuasca ceremony. Both nights, I chose the same animal spirit card: the fire ant. The theme was gossip, aggression, combativeness. During the ceremonies, I got to experience the part of me that I call the Punisher, the part that really likes to punish myself and punish other people for any perceived wrongdoing. There’s a certain self-righteousness that comes with that.

For readers who don’t know my full story, I was born and raised in an international religious cult where punishment and discipline were very common. Every single hour of the day was accounted for, and stepping outside of that structure meant consequences. So I’m constantly toying between the little rebel child in me and the disciplinarian, Punisher, righteous anger type of spiritual shepherd in me.

After that ceremony, that shadow part of me felt like it was getting bigger. I was embroiled in more conflict than I normally am. For months, I would wake up with fire energy in my mind, in some type of argument with someone, needing to defend myself. I was clearly in this core wound trigger place, looking for safety, wanting to protect and defend, constantly looking for danger. Very uncomfortable.

On top of that, I’ve been a heavy caffeine drinker since I was very young. I like a big Nitro Cold Brew, 350 milligrams of caffeine. So I’m just wiring and activating all this fire ant energy even more.

In July, I started a book club with “The Way of Integrity” by Martha Beck. As we read, I had so much awareness come online. She talks about removing any dishonesty and lies from your life. The trajectory of shame is: we do things that create shame, that shame needs to hide, so that creates dishonesty. We start being dishonest with ourselves and others. Then that turns into stress, anxiety, activated nervous system.

Through that process, the biggest realization came online: integration is integrity. Integrity is wholeness. So where in my life am I out of integrity and not in wholeness?

Then I did the Miracle Morning challenge: waking up early, journaling, breathwork, gratitude, reading. It helped a lot, but there were still three or four fires continuously burning within me.

The last piece was my relationship. I had this gnawing sense that the relationship was not in full integrity with who I am and what I wanted in terms of having kids and family. End of August comes, the three eclipses all at once, and I had to have the conversation with my partner. Ultimately, we decided it was best if we separated.

Breaking up with him catalyzed this spiritual awakening, this desire to fully come into harmony and resonance within my mind and body. I had already been doing this legwork of relaxing my nervous system. I just knew it was time. I had 10 days of my schedule open up, which was a miracle, and someone encouraged me to just sign up. So I signed up.

Vanna: It was this intention at the beginning of the year of integration, and the universe brought you the perfect catalyst and series of events to get really uncomfortable.

Olivia Eden: Exactly. Integration is integrity. It’s all parts of us coming into wholeness, working together in harmony. Being in harmony is also my definition of spirituality. It’s either being in harmony or out of harmony. When we’re in harmony, when all parts are working together, we’re connected to spirit, to others, to ourselves, to nature, to the universe.

Vanna: Take us to the days leading up to Vipassana. How were you feeling?

Olivia Eden: I was excited but worried about two things: having to sit down for 10 hours a day and my back, and getting off coffee.

Just for context: Vipassana is a 10-day silent meditation retreat. No eye contact, no talking, no gestures, no phone, no books, no journals. Two meals a day, vegetarian, one at 6:30 AM, one at 11:30 AM. By noon, you’re done eating for the day. The idea is they remove everything you normally distract yourself with.

When you sit down to meditate, your mind is constantly looking for a way to pull itself out of being with itself. “Oh, you forgot to message that person. Go do that really quick.” Or “I’m really hungry. If I just had a little cracker, I would be okay.” Or “I’m so tired. If I just had coffee, I’d be fine.”

Through these 10 days, they’re training you to keep your focus on your body and what’s coming up in your body, and just to notice it. As you’re noticing it, notice where the mind goes for aversions or cravings, which Goenka calls sankharas.

He says many of us carry these sankharas with us. By the end of the month, you only have two or three that really stick out. At the end of the year, you have two or three that really stick out. Right before you die, you have a couple that are really sticking with you, and you’re going to carry those into the next life. Those sankaras are like deep grooves in a rock. Sometimes we have something come up and it’s like running a stick through water, you run the stick through the water and it immediately is gone.

It’s training you to have your mind be like that water where something comes up and you just let it pass. As you’re sitting there, you’re noticing the aversions, “I don’t like it,” or the cravings, “Ooh yes, I like it.” Both create misery within us.

Meanwhile, I’m dealing with the sankharas on the surface, the fires that have been present within me. There were about four fires that every day were coming into my awareness. I’m having this whole fight, and my fire ant, self-righteous energy is coming online. I’m not backing down, I’m not finding softness. I’m trying to find clever ways to dismiss it, “Oh, that’s an aversion. That’s a craving,” naming it and trying to dismiss it.

Vanna: It’s almost like a distraction from the distraction.

Olivia Eden: Exactly. I’m so cognitively trying to be in control instead of just focusing on my body.

Vanna: What did you notice happening in your body?

Olivia Eden: Day one, everyone realizes they’re going to be sitting for 10 hours a day. We start with one cushion, but sitting for 10 hours cross-legged is excruciating. Every day, people are adding pillows. By day three or four, everyone has like 20 extra pillows.

Every night, Goenka gives a lecture for an hour. Night five, he talks about how we are not reacting to the pain. We’re staying in balance and awareness through it all. Something clicked into place for me. I was like, “Oh, the idea is not to move away from the pain, it’s to work with it.”

Right then he introduced that we’re not going to move for the entire hour. As much as possible, don’t move. Stay with your legs in whatever position they are, and whatever you feel in the body, just observe it and keep equanimity in your mind.

Morning six, I remove all of my pillows and go just to the bare cushion. As the pain starts to creep up my legs at like 30 minutes, I just start working with it and being aware. I’m like, “Those are just electrical currents in the body.” The pain stopped being pain. The pain just became electrical waves coursing through my body.

I finished that two-hour meditation session with so much vibrating energy. I felt like I was walking on cloud nine. I was like, “Whoa, I just unlocked this new awareness of what I can do with pain in the body,” completely neutralizing the way I feel it. It became a sensation, as opposed to something that had a negative connotation.

However, I’m like, “How does this relate to the fires I’m still fighting in my mind?”

You’re allowed to ask the assistant teacher questions in the evening. By the seventh day, I had to ask how they were connected. She’s like, “It doesn’t matter. Just focus on the body. Everything is happening first in the body. Just pay attention.”

Vanna: That was all you needed?

Olivia Eden: That was all I needed. Meanwhile, every night I’m having the craziest, most vivid dreams. Each night, I’m being played out a very specific scenario of something that would bring anybody out of their balance. In every scenario, I’m reacting in a very triggered and reactive way.

I wake up and I’m like, “Okay, that’s where all the fire ant energy is going, in my dreams, getting pulled out of balance.”

By day eight, I have this one big fire come up that I’m fighting. Then all of a sudden I’m getting shooting pain in my chest and all the way down my arms. It was so crippling that I had to go lay down and take aspirin.

But it clicked in a visceral way. I was like, “Oh, that is how it plays out in my body. That is what we’re doing with the fire in our thoughts, with the resentment, with the bitterness, and how it shows up in our body.”

Goenka says the whole point is to cultivate inner wisdom. There are three types: wisdom we glean from reading something; intellectualizing it for yourself; and experiential wisdom. It’s when you know through experience that this is the absolute truth for you.

What I realized is that our heart is pumping our life force through our entire body. So once the wisdom reaches the heart, it transmits that message everywhere else in our body through the bloodstream, through the life force. That is experiential wisdom.

Night eight, my dream reached its final climax. I had my computer bag stolen and I went into this house to get it back. The guy who took it said, “Sorry, I sold it,” and I lose it. The full-on Hulk comes out of me. I start smashing every glass plate and cup I can find, hurling them at these guys. I’m taking beautiful pottery and smashing it on the ground, breaking everything I can get my hands on.

Then I take hard plastic plates and hit them on the ground, but they just bounce. With each bounce and not shatter, I start deflating because it’s not giving me that same satisfaction. I walk over to another room and sit down on a couch, just seething, really upset.

One thing I should mention: when I’ve been in this righteous anger, this really upset place, it’s been so challenging for me to get softness, to cut through that to what’s really underneath. It’s such a huge firewall.

This tall guy comes over with these really big kind eyes. He kneels down right in front of me and looks at me with so much softness. He’s like, “Hey, I heard what happened to your computer. I’m so sorry. That must be so hard.”

I just break down and start crying so hard. I’m like, “It is. It’s so hard.” He puts the back of his hand on my cheek.

I woke up sobbing so hard, gut-wrenching crying, and had the first big emotional release of the whole experience. I knew on a visceral level what compassion felt like and how you get there in that moment. That’s what I needed to know. That’s what I needed to experience…. compassion for me when I was freaking out and in full-on rage. When he did that, it all came into place. After that, anytime an old fire would come up, I could find softness and compassion almost right away.

Day nine is when they taught us the Metta meditation, “May all beings be happy, may all beings be free.” It connects you to the heart and allows you to visualize it for everyone. I could bring up everyone’s face that I had been holding in this place with fire and just have so much love and compassion. It helped fully integrate this fire ant energy that had been taking over my life for the last year.

Vanna: What has integration looked like coming back into everyday life?

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Olivia Eden: I successfully got off caffeine and haven’t been drinking coffee since then. My nervous system has been calmer. I’ve been doing the metta meditations every day to stay in that heart space.

Goenka’s whole thing is: don’t create new sankaras. If you do not create new sankaras, the old ones will begin to fall away. Anytime I’m feeling my mind go to “I don’t like that,” I just move back into neutrality.

Ram Dass said, “The great way is not difficult, without any preferences.” I’ve been playing with that a lot.

I’m not on social media. Social media is cravings and aversions on a loop. I’ve been doing what I can to avoid adding new sankharas. When I have a little trigger come up, I allow myself to feel that, but then move back into compassion as quickly as I can. Now that I have such a visceral, experiential understanding of what that looks like, it’s so much easier for me to get there.

Vanna: Is there anything else you’re really wanting listeners to know right now?

Olivia Eden: Yes. The most important takeaway: Suffering is universal. We all know that. It’s the one thing that connects every single person on earth, suffering, the inevitability of unwanted experiences.

Therefore, the solution has to be universal. The solution has to be something that everybody can connect to. Everybody can connect to the body and the breath. That’s it.

As long as we continue to bring our awareness back to what is happening in the body, because it’s all happening here first, we can transform our relationship with suffering.

I invite you: notice what your mind is reaching for, what it’s grabbing for. Before you grab your phone to scroll, just notice.

If I just put the phone down and notice what is going on in the body, what am I avoiding feeling? What am I distracting myself away from? You start to create that mind-body connection and notice that it’s all happening here first. We’re all avoiding sensations, or we’re all trying to feel something.

I’ve decided to power off every Sunday, from Saturday night to Sunday night, to give myself one full day without that constant pull of distraction, to be with myself. Just trying to find small ways that are doable and manageable to integrate this understanding into my life.

Vanna: This has me thinking about all the ways I distract and wondering what I’m either avoiding or trying to feel. Because what we really want is to feel in the body. We may want the money and the car, but we want the money to feel safety and the car to feel elevated. We want all of these things to feel.

The question becomes: what does it look like to start with “Well, what am I feeling currently?” Because if I don’t know where I’m at right now in a moment, then I’m already so disconnected from actually having that feeling.

The Body Scan Practice:

• Everything happens in the body first

• Notice sensations without labeling them as good or bad

• Pain is just electrical currents—stay neutral with it

• This builds equanimity and breaks reactive patterns

Understanding Sankaras (Deep Grooves):

• Old resentments are deep grooves in the rock of your psyche

• Don’t create new sankaras by feeding aversions and cravings

• Notice when your mind says “I don’t like it” or “I like it”

• Move back to neutrality and let it pass like water

The Three Types of Wisdom:

1. Intellectual wisdom (reading, learning)

2. Analytical wisdom (does this make sense for me?)

3. Experiential wisdom (knowing it through your body and heart)

Metta (Loving-Kindness) Meditation:

• “May all beings be happy, may all beings be free”

• Visualize people you struggle with and send them compassion

• This dissolves fire ant energy and righteous anger

Technology Detox:

• Notice what you’re reaching for before you scroll

• Ask: What am I avoiding feeling?

• Power off one day per week to be with yourself

• Social media is cravings and aversions on a loop

The Compassion Gateway:

• When rage or resentment comes up, ask what’s underneath

• Softness and compassion cut through the firewall

• You can’t think your way there—you must feel your way through

Olivia Eden is the founder of The Integration Chronicles and Tap Integration. She recently completed a 10-day Vipassana silent meditation retreat and successfully detoxed from caffeine. She continues her daily practice of metta meditation and body awareness work. This month, we’re exploring how integration is integrity—bringing all parts of ourselves into wholeness and harmony.

DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational purposes only. The discussion of psychedelic substances is presented in the context of integration and personal development. Always consult qualified professionals for therapeutic support. The use, possession, and distribution of many psychedelic substances are illegal in most jurisdictions.
If this conversation helped you see something differently, please like, share, and subscribe. Your support helps us continue bringing these tools to people who need them.

Hi Lovely Human,

This December, we’re taking a break from the Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit theme to ease into the oftentimes busy end of year. It is the end of 2025, everyone will be closing out their Q4 goals, eagerly or apprehensively anticipating time with family. So my focus for you this month is to…play…to ease into this month asking yourself:

“How can I not only have more fun, enjoy and celebrate each passing moment of this month, but how can I share my joy and love with every single person I encounter?”

The Gift of Cheer

December is one of my favorite months of the year. Throughout my childhood and teen years, we had two solid months of “Christmas Push.” We formed caroling groups and every day we would perform at senior living homes, orphanages, schools, restaurants, private homes, anywhere and everywhere that they would let us share our song and merriment. Albeit grueling at times, it wired in the understanding that this season is a beautiful time to go the extra step to bring cheer to someone.

2 years ago, my sister and I raised money to give 50 orphans in Guatemala a big holiday party. They were the sweetest children, so grateful, so happy, so at peace, and so loving to one another. I was blown away and reminded that love is really all we need.

The holidays can be unreasonably tough for so many: family triggers, reminders of deep painful loneliness, or capitalist pressure to spend exorbitant amounts of money for gifts that no one really needs, driving them further into debt, all in an effort to feel loved and appreciated. Then we have our Scrooges, and they are the ones that need our smile the most.

Last night I hosted a Stoic Salon to discuss Wisdom Takes Work by Ryan Holiday, and one of the guests said he makes a point to find something nice to notice about every single person who passes him on the trail. Wow! That made me pause… What a far cry from the automatic judgment that tends to invade our minds as we pass our fellow human on the street.

Well I’m going to piggyback on his idea.

What if we decided to think a loving thought about everyone we pass this month? And when appropriate, what if we actually said it out loud?

It doesn’t take much to brighten someone’s day. I’ll accept this challenge. Will you join me?

Integration Tips for December

✨ Play, dance, laugh, and be merry as often as you freaking can

✨ Think a loving thought about every stranger you pass on your daily walk

✨ Make an effort to be just a little more curious with a person you meet at your holiday party

How much love can you give this season? Circle back at the end of the month and let me know how it went!

Did I tell you yet, that I LOVE YOU!!

🎧 Playlist of the Month

As much as I LOOOVE holiday music, I just can’t wait to share this playlist I’ve been listening to every morning. You know I can’t resist a good attunement first thing in the morning. These songs will light you up and get you vibin’ hard to some serious positive frequencies.

Listen here

🤶🏽 My Top Stocking Stuffer Recommendations

Kanna - Heart Opening Supplement

What would Christmas be without a little heart-opening Kanna!

Kanna is a wellness supplement designed to awaken your senses and soften your mind. Give your loved ones the gift of this beautiful plant-based medicine that will get everyone dropped into their heart. This is my favorite brand on the market.

Open hearts here!

Myfeelium - Cognitive Neuroplasticity + Fun

And for a little cognitive neuroplasticity plus fun and giggles, I recommend Myfeelium. Their product is served at 100mg for a perfect light lift. They have their product in cacao in case you want a “special” hot chocolate and in electrolyte for a truly rejuvenating drink!

Shop here - Discount code TAPIN

🥳 December 17 - Holiday Party for Austin Facilitators

We are throwing a holiday party for all the facilitators in Austin who work so hard to end suffering and bring peace and joy. Come dance and get your hearts filled back up so you can keep making a difference. The event will be hosted in a beautiful ceremony sanctuary in Austin, TX. Click here to RSVP

Integration isn’t always about going inward. Sometimes it’s about radiating outward and sharing the light you’ve cultivated with everyone you meet.

Where can you sprinkle a little more joy this month? Who in your life could use an extra smile or kind word?

Let’s make the world a little kinder this month. Thank you for reading this. I mean it with all my heart!

With joy and love,

Olivia Eden MacDonell
Founder, TAP Integration

P.S. If this resonated, forward it to someone who needs a reminder to play this month. Integration works better together.

Follow TAP:

YouTube | Website

Hi Again!

Welcome to The Integration Chronicles 🌌—your go-to source for stories, insights, and inspiration from the world of psychedelic facilitation and integration.

This month, we’re exploring the MIND, how wisdom takes work, how we can use language and logic to integrate transformative experiences, and how taking radical personal responsibility can literally change everything.

I’m excited to share this conversation with Dave Lawson, an executive coach with over 18 years of experience helping teams collaborate more effectively and leaders develop empathetic, aware management styles. What makes Dave’s work unique is how he bridges hard business operations with deep personal growth work, all informed by three decades of working with psychedelics as tools for self-awareness and transformation.

The Conversation

Olivia Eden: Looking back, what were some pivotal moments that led you to this type of facilitation work, and what was your life like before that?

Dave Lawson: To talk about the type of facilitation you’re working with in your network, we have to go all the way back to my high school days, where I first started to experiment with what I like to refer to as entheogenics—psychedelic and psychotropic medicines that really allowed me to change my perspective on where I was in life, where I wanted to go, and ultimately how I wanted to treat others along the way.

I’ve always been uniquely focused on my relationships with other people. I get a lot of energy and enjoyment out of my relationships, my friendships, even my working relationships. But in high school, I was this awkward teenage boy who was kind of a late bloomer, really scrawny, sort of athletic-ish in that I liked to skateboard and hike and ride my bike. I really struggled to get along in my social construct. I didn’t fit into the hierarchy in a neat, tidy way. I was challenged with some behavioral problems and had emotional needs that weren’t being met.

I knew I needed to make a change in my life, but I really didn’t know how to facilitate that, and I wasn’t getting the guidance I needed from the people around me—or so I thought. A friend of mine introduced me to LSD when I was about 15 years old, and that’s what I chose to do all through high school.

I’m not going to make a claim as to whether or not that was healthy. I don’t believe that children—and I mean anyone under the age of 18 to 20—should just openly experiment with drugs. That can be challenging and detrimental in a lot of ways. But it is what it is. That’s where I started, and I can say it’s had a very positive effect on me in that it helped open my eyes to exactly who I was and what I wanted out of life, even at an early age.

What I wanted was to create art and have meaningful relationships. That’s a little different than what a lot of kids in high school are going through—trying to figure out careers, whether to get married young, whether to have children or buy a house. For people who don’t have a roadmap or who have emotional or developmental disruption in their lives, there have to be different paths. I just started my journey with LSD.

In doing so, I found a great deal of satisfaction. I went from skateboarding and being generally a hooligan—let’s just call it what it is, I was directionless and difficult—to playing soccer. I moved to a new high school in Georgia and joined the soccer team. I became heavily involved in the art program. I was on the board of directors for the National Art Honor Society at our local high school chapter, and I was really proud of that. I actually ended up getting a scholarship for my involvement there, which was validating.

I went from difficult child to just being comfortable with who I am. I think that was the lesson I took from my entheogenic experience from an early age. And I really believe that’s the lesson a lot of people are taking from these experiences—knowing myself and being open and honest about who I am and how I show up.

When I went into college, I was able to double down because of my experiences. I found myself in groups of people who had explored quite a lot and even read literature on the meaning of these experiences. I started to learn more, not just about the experience of taking psychedelic drugs, but also a methodology through which we can sit with ourselves and be intentional about why we’ve engaged in this process.

One thing we learned really early on when engaging with these substances and spirits is that they certainly aren’t party drugs, or at least not in the traditional sense. They’re not the kinds of things you want to do on the way to the club. These are experiences that people hold on to, even if they just have one, for the rest of their lives. They completely impact and alter the way they think about themselves and others. That became the container within which me and my friends approached entheogenic medicine. Years later, I can tell you I remember very specific circumstances and very specific lessons from those years that have stayed with me throughout my life.

Olivia Eden: How have those insights fed into the work you do now? How do you continue to integrate those experiences?

Dave Lawson: I started out in college as a fine arts major, which was a perfectly valid path. But as I started to learn more about my own experience, I decided I really wanted to dive into brain and behavior—how human beings function. I learned that psychology is actually the study of behavior, not much more than that, even as we get down to the neuronal level. So I started to dive into the biochemical reactions within the brain as we engage with certain substances—and I didn’t limit it to entheogens or psychedelics. There are a lot of moving parts going on inside our bodies and brains.

One thing I came to realize through this entire process of discovery is that we’re all kind of constantly having a psychedelic experience. The fact that we are always at the mercy of our brains and minds to interpret the world around us means that we are actually living in a hallucinatory state. As you engage with and have more psychedelic experiences, you start to see bleed over. You start to see how you’ve always seen the world in different ways—you just tried to silo it or narrow it down to specific, definable characteristics. Once you blast the doors off that perception, you can start to engage with the world in a different way, in a more open way that really does allow you to see yourself and others in your true state. That’s kind of the root of healing—the root of growing connections and building bridges is knowing how you show up.

I love the word integration because we’re taking experiences that are esoteric and difficult to define and translating them into language our logical mind can understand. Many people translate their experiences into colors, shapes, or archetypes. For me, it’s language and logic—that’s how I encode and remember these lessons long-term.

One thing that’s been pivotal over the last 30 years: you don’t need the substances to have the experience. These medicines are facilitators, they bring awareness, but they’re not doing the work. The person still needs to reintegrate. If you have tools outside the psychedelic experience to help translate and remember these lessons, that’s where real transformation happens.

Olivia Eden: Can you give our audience some actionable tools on how to use logic and language to integrate these sometimes hard-to-understand esoteric experiences?

Are you a facilitator* looking to grow your audience, deepen your network, and amplify your transformative influence? TAP INtegration hosts monthly meetups to bring the community of practitioners together, to teach each other and grow together. Dave presented at our last one. Next one in Austin is a Holiday party. Come dance with us!

Dave Lawson: Language is a great place to start. Whether you’re writing in a journal, typing into a doc, or recording your voice—get the experience or challenge into a place where you can review it over time. That’s the key to programming the human mind. You hear something once, you encode it. Twice, the light bulb goes on. Repeatedly, it starts to affect behavior.

If you review your thoughts regularly, you have a better probability of actually changing behavior. But here’s the caveat: you can also receive harmful messages and programming from others. I’m talking about social media—emotionally charged messages that feel real and inspiring, then a sales pitch designed to separate you from your money.

Be intentional about the language and information you’re taking in, especially during any therapeutic or change process. When you open yourself up, you’re susceptible to someone else’s thoughts about how you should behave. Language is the model by which we reprogram and heal people. It’s also the model by which we’ve led people into wars. It works, it’s real, it can be good or challenging. Just be aware.

Olivia Eden: So you’re suggesting people minimize their screen time if they’re going through a transformative process?

Dave Lawson: 100%. It was said best to me after a breathwork class I went through—a very intense breathwork class. If you’ve ever done one of these heavy breathing breathwork experiences, the goal is not to reprogram or reshape your vision of your life. The goal is actually to shed a lot of challenging thoughts. It’s to get the wiggles out, to regulate the nervous system so that you can come to the table in a more relaxed and open space. As we were finishing up the breathwork class and doing some light processing, the man leading said,

“Listen, you’re wide open. We just blew the doors off this thing. You’re going to be open to almost anything and everything that comes your way. So avoid alcohol, avoid social media. Give yourself some time. Be intentional about what you start to put back in, because your body’s just going to soak it right up, and your mind is going to translate that into future behavior. So be very intentional about what you want to get out of this experience and how you go back into your life.”

The same applies to the integration work that everyone in this network engages with and even in the coaching I do.

Olivia Eden: Can you give us an exercise—one of your favorite integration tools?

Dave Lawson: There’s one I really love that has been used by therapists of all walks: a simple inventory. When we talk about taking inventory of our internal thoughts and feelings, a lot of times people feel like this is a closed bitch session in the diary of your mind, where you write down all your frustrations. That’s not what I’m about to discuss.

Taking inventory is very methodical—like a ledger of challenging circumstances. You can apply this to situations where you want to magnify positive interactions, growth, and wellbeing. But many times when people are challenged and coming into a coaching relationship, they’re trying to move away from behaviors and thought patterns that are causing them problems.

Let’s take judgment as an example. Judgment is wrought with all kinds of issues. A lot of times, people start in their journey with judgment from a place of resentment. Resentment, I believe, is the key to a lot of really deleterious behaviors. If you have resentments and that voice in your head that’s constantly playing through certain circumstances and interactions, you need to find a way to allow yourself to feel that, understand why it’s there, and then—in my opinion—reflect on your own personal contribution to that resentment.

Let’s say you feel judged at work, and somebody even did something to cause problems for you. It’s very easy to fall into resentment, to play those scripts over and over again and carry around disdain for that person. But the truth is—and this is just brass tacks—that person, whether you like it or not, wasn’t doing anything against you. They were doing something to fulfill a want or need they have internally. You may have been the target, but they were really trying to fulfill something within themselves. If you can take the intent out, at least in your own mind, it begins to open the door to healing.

Here’s how it works: You write down the resentment—”So and so said bad things about me in a room where I wasn’t present. I wasn’t able to defend myself, and it caused me problems or a loss of closeness with somebody they were talking to.” You talk about the specifics. Then you write down the areas of your life it affected. If it was at work, it could have affected your finances, your ability to make money in the future, your relationships. You get the lay of the land, figure out the real specific details around that resentment.

The final column is very simply talking about your contribution to the situation. This is actually the hardest part. This is where people get stuck. They have to pause and really think through it. Then they’re like, “Well, I wouldn’t have contributed to it if so and so hadn’t done this.” Now they have to write another resentment down on the inventory. The question is: do you want the inventory list to grow, or do you actually want to fill in the fourth column and be brutally honest with yourself about how you showed up to the relationship?

This is a really fundamental exercise for helping people let go of situations where they felt they were wronged. Taking personal ownership is huge.

I do want to give a caveat, though: a lot of people are walking around with a lot of trauma, and that trauma is not the result of anything they did. It’s really important we recognize there is another type of inventory that’s not related to knowing yourself or owning your part in any given situation. Sometimes people go through very, very hard things, and we need to recognize that. That’s a different process—it’s a deeper process—and I really believe that’s where you bring in facilitators and integration tools like psychedelics to help people process those things in a safe container that can really induce healing.

THE RESENTMENT INVENTORY (Quick Reference):
Column 1: Write the specific resentment
Column 2: Detail what happened and who was involved
Column 3: List which life areas it affected (finances, relationships, self-esteem)
Column 4: Identify YOUR contribution to the situation (hardest part!)
This exercise helps you move from victim mindset to radical responsibility—the key to breaking cycles and creating lasting change.

Olivia Eden: Do you have a special offer for our readers?

Dave Lawson: I use the Birkman assessment to get to the heart of what’s really going on—people’s needs, stress behaviors, and how to interact with more self-awareness. I’m offering your network a three-session coaching package: one intake session, a 45-minute self-guided assessment, an assessment review, and a follow-up on how to apply the tools. It’s typically $750, but I’m offering it at $600 for Integration Chronicles listeners. These tools are invaluable for shining light on personal challenges, whether you’re working solo or leading a team.

Dave Lawson is an executive coach with over 18 years of experience in sales, business operations, real estate, property management, and HR consulting. He specializes in empathetic leadership and team collaboration, integrating insights from 30 years of working with psychedelics into his coaching practice. To connect with Dave and claim your $150 discount on the three-session Berkman assessment package, contact him at david.lawson.atx@gmail.com.

Have you felt the calling to become a practitioner? TAP INtegration has partnered with the Conscious Physician to roll out one of the most comprehensive training programs in the country. It’s also one of the only independent programs that offers CME’s. Best part? TAP Integration is including 6 months of our groundbreaking INtegration platform for free. We will teach best practices for integration, how to build a customized integration plan, and how to really see long term change in your clients lives. Apply today!

DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational purposes only. The discussion of psychedelic substances is presented in the context of integration and personal development. Always consult qualified professionals for therapeutic support. The use, possession, and distribution of many psychedelic substances are illegal in most jurisdictions.
If this conversation helped you see something differently, please like, share, and subscribe. Your support helps us continue bringing these tools to people who need them.

Sweetheart,

We’ve made another full circle around the MIND/BODY/HEART/SPIRIT (MBHS) sun and have returned back to the MIND—just in time, too. As I learned in prison, the mind precedes everything. If we can’t tame our mind, we won’t be able to integrate the physical. Your mind is what ultimately encourages you off the couch to exercise or calm the nervous system. Without our mind helping us construct loving communication and engage in active listening, we can’t integrate the heart and deepen our relationships. And if the MBH aren’t working in harmony, it becomes much more challenging to connect to Spirit.

And so without further ado, I will dive into the incredible, powerful tools I gleaned from prison—MIND prison, also known as Vipassana: a 10-day silent meditation retreat.

10 Days in MIND Prison

Participants are asked to renounce modern life as we know it: phones, technology, books, journals, comfort in living quarters, even the food most people like, like animal protein. Two vegetarian meals a day. All of the things we use in our lives to distract us from sitting with ourselves. There is nothing but sitting with yourself...for 10 hours a day.

No speaking to anyone. No eye contact or gestures for the entirety of the 10 days. Men and women are kept separate to minimize the chance of craving and fantasizing.

And BOY, was it the most thrilling adventure of my life. Every day was a new chance to explore my inner workings, to see what would come up. It’s truly fascinating to watch how our minds swing like monkeys from limb to limb—or you could imagine a half-naked Tarzan (if you swing that way🙃). Point is, if we can’t get a grip on our MIND, we can’t get to where we want to go because...

“How you gonna win, if you ain’t right within.”
— Lauryn Hill

I watched how my mind vacillated between all the things “I don’t like, I don’t like, I don’t like” and “I like, I want, I need.” Back and forth she blew like a wild animal. I spent lots of energy fighting internal fires.

One poignant discovery I want to share was noticing how the fires would begin to brew in the evening. After a whole day of pushing the negative thoughts out during the day, they came roaring up at night. I realized that’s why at night I tend towards numbing distractions to keep me out of my thoughts. Many people have their nighttime wind-downs, like wine, TV, social engagements. We may not even realize why. We are so good at distracting ourselves all day long, but come night, we are left with all the thoughts we have been avoiding and, subsequently, the uncomfortable emotions like fear, sadness, and worry that come with them. It’s easier to just turn on Frasier (in my case😆).

When do you find it unavoidable to distract yourself? There just might be a clue there for you that there are things left unprocessed, taking up precious space in our mind.

Through this experience, I learned how to detach from the cravings and aversions and slowly began to experience equanimity, love, and compassion on a visceral level. I now believe this to be one of the most powerful integration experiences of my life.

Cultivating Inner Wisdom

Before you rush off to renounce your life for 10 days, here’s a great starting point which you can start at any time, anywhere in your life.

In Vipassana, Goenka teaches that real wisdom unfolds in 3 stages:

1. Suta-mayā paññā — Wisdom born of hearing

This is intellectual or learned wisdom, gained through listening to teachings, reading philosophies, or receiving instruction. It’s secondhand knowledge. It’s how we learn about concepts like impermanence, suffering, integration, love, etc. You hear that “everything is impermanent,” and you understand it logically but haven’t yet experienced it directly.

Example: You go to a restaurant and read the menu. From the description on the menu, the food looks bomb! But you still don’t really know if it will be.

2. Cintā-mayā paññā — Wisdom born of reflection

This is wisdom from reasoning and contemplation. This is where we get to decide if it actually makes sense to us intellectually, through our cognitive faculties. This is a very important part of wisdom, because it helps us to avoid blind faith—believing something just because someone said so. THIS IS HOW YOU AVOID JOINING A CULT, Y’ALL! This is when faith deepens into personal understanding, but it’s still primarily mental. You reflect, “Yes, when I look closely, my thoughts and feelings do change constantly. Impermanence makes sense.”

Example: This is when the server walks past you with a tray of food and you see for yourself that it indeed looks delicious.

3. Bhāvanā-mayā paññā — Wisdom born of direct experience

This is experiential wisdom, cultivated through meditation, psychedelics, or just having that thing happen to you that you never thought would! My first experience of this was when I did MDMA therapy for the first time. All the knowledge I had acquired through studying, podcasts, and books about healing came wiring in as my heart opened. What I realized is that the heart opening is what allows us to experience things on a visceral level. Now, we can get there through meditation as well! By observing sensations and mental phenomena directly, you experience impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, LOVE, and compassion. You observe sensations arise and pass in real time during meditation, seeing the truth of impermanence directly rather than conceptually. This wisdom transforms the mind—it is what Vipassanā specifically develops.

Example: Your food finally arrives and you take that first bite. In that moment, you know from experience that indeed, that food is freaking delicious!!

In short:
Hearing → Reflection → Direct Experience
Information → Understanding → Transformation

Actionable Tools for MIND Month

📚 Stoic Salon & Book Club

How better to absorb this framework than with Ryan Holiday’s new book: Wisdom Takes Work

“We know that education, even if directed by someone else at the beginning, eventually reverts into our own hands—we must teach ourselves if we are to learn anything. We know from Montaigne that ego is the enemy of wisdom, that conceit is the impediment to knowledge. We take from his example the need to be always curious, always questioning, always open, always ready to learn something new. And finally, we understand that we learn in order to live, that all accomplishments pale in comparison to that rarest of rare things: SELF-AWARENESS.”

Click here to RSVP for further instructions. Cultivating wisdom is powerful by yourself but so much more fun in community.

🎧 MIND Music for Focus

This month I’m listening to EMDR Bilateral Stimulation. Y’all, that will drop you right into focus and flow. Ryan Holiday says a short attention span is a detriment to wisdom. So here you go!

Listen here

And here’s another one of my favorites for elevating work flow by the legend Ólafur Arnalds:
Listen here

🎉 Exciting Partnership Announcement

Last but not least, we have super exciting news. The Conscious Physician and TAP INtegration are partnering, and we’re so proud to launch:

✨ The first psychedelics academy created by physicians for physicians and healthcare professionals
✨ Providing CME credits for this work through UNM School of Medicine
✨ A program developed on New Mexico land, which we hold with deep respect and pride
✨ The first program to offer an all-inclusive integration framework that covers MIND, BODY, HEART, and SPIRIT

If you’re a practitioner looking to be certified to serve medicine with one of the most holistic programs out there—with teachers who stand in the utmost integrity— apply here!

TAP INtegration will be the official integration technology behind the program as well as infusing our framework for integration. We are honored to be a part of this incredible mission. DM for the course overview!

At the end of the day, INtegration is INtegrity. And INtegrity is wholeness.

Where is your mind leading you astray?
What thoughts are you avoiding that need processing?

Drop me comments or DM me. I would love to answer any questions you have!

With curiosity and compassion,

Olivia Eden MacDonell
Founder, TAP Integration

P.S. If this resonated, forward it to someone who needs it. Integration works better together.

Follow TAP:

YouTube | Website

Darling,

We are nearing the end of October—SPIRIT-themed month. I feel like I truly, fully connected to spirit and the concept of spirituality for the first time in this way. It has been so rewarding to fully immerse myself in the theme for each month and take the opportunity to integrate the tools with what I’m experiencing and I hope you’ve had the pleasure, as well!

My definition of spirituality is very simple: it’s a matter of being in harmony or out of harmony. Understanding this is key when it comes to my other favorite aspect of SPIRIT—community. The more we focus on attunement, harmonizing our instrument, the deeper we can connect with others, the more present we can be. It used to be very challenging for me to “drop in” with people. I had a restless nervous system that kept me on the “go, go, go.” Through daily attunement, my relationships have deeply enriched.

Highlights of SPIRIT Month

TAP INtegration ACT Facilitator Meetup
TAP INtegration powered a Spirit-themed ACT Facilitator meetup. Mary Olivar presented on how to work with the elements, and then we got to connect with each other and share what was alive for us.

Dinner with Strangers
I hosted a Dinner with Strangers dinner party for the first time in a while and remembered how much I love communing with others while breaking bread. The theme was Home/Belonging. I realized there is a part of me that has always felt “homeless,” and accepting that has allowed me to really let go.

Texas Yoga Retreat - 25th Anniversary
The Texas Yoga Retreat was another big highlight—it was their 25th anniversary. Ellen Smith did an incredible job of creating safety and connection with the participants. She also brought some of the greatest spiritual teachers to give workshops. It felt so good to connect with a new community of truly committed people on their path of harmony. While taking a workshop on Neuroscience and Yoga, I realized how connected our nervous system is to the energy we give off. Then I thought: NERVOUS system... we equate it so often to nervousness in the system. We need a new word. I came up with Ner-VINE system—for when we are connected to the DIVINE as our energy system.

30 Day Gratitude Challenge

Every morning, we practiced a few minutes of gratitude together. What a game changer and one of THE BEST ways to rewire the default mode network from “cup half empty” to “half full!” It’s not too late to start your own daily practice.

Watch the gratitude videos here!

📖 Wisdom from Outrageous Openness

“Eventually the individual ego’s drive to ‘make things happen’ falls away, replaced with a relaxed, trusting openness to answers as they spontaneously arise.”

“If you align in any moment with the flow of life as it presents itself, all will unfold in the right way at the right time with a certain spontaneity and ease.”

—Tosha Silver

💬 Monthly Q&A

Q: What does it mean to “harmonize your instrument” and why is that important before connecting deeply with others?

When I talk about “harmonizing your instrument,” I’m talking about tuning into yourself, your body, your breath, your energy. Think of it like tuning a guitar. If the strings are out of tune, everything you play sounds off. Our nervous system, our energetic field, our emotional state, these are our strings.

Before my daily breathwork and meditation practice, I would show up to conversations still carrying the stress, tension, and preoccupations from earlier in the day. I wasn’t really there. I was physically present but energetically scattered. When we take time to attune, we come back into harmony with ourselves. And from that place of internal harmony, we can actually meet others where they are.

Harmony is:

• Flow and ease, even when things are challenging

• Deep, natural breath; relaxed shoulders

• Moving through your day with curiosity and openness

• Being present and available for genuine connection

• Trusting the process rather than fighting reality

The beautiful paradox is this: the more work we do on our own attunement, the less work connection becomes. It flows naturally.

Q: How do I know if I’m truly connected to spirit, or if I’m just going through the motions?

When you’re truly connected to spirit, there’s a quality of aliveness, of presence, of flow, and openness. Even in difficult moments, there’s a sense of being held by something larger than yourself. You’re not white-knuckling your way through spiritual practice.

My telltale signs when I’m disconnecting are, I become more reactive, more impulsive and compulsive. I find myself mindless shopping, eating, talking. I consume more content. I stop doing my nighttime routines.

Everyone’s symptoms are different. Do you know what yours are? If not, start to become aware of when you’re getting out of tune.

Here’s what I’ve learned: if you’re asking the question, you’re already paying attention. That awareness itself is a form of connection to SPIRIT.

Q: What role does community play in spiritual practice? Why is it so important?

Community is everything. We are relational beings. We heal in relationship. We grow in relationship. We discover who we are through the mirror of others.

Growing up in communes, so much of my imprinting and relational damage came from community. It’s also where the healing began later on in my life. It has take years to feel comfortable in community settings and all I can say is, its worth the discomfort!

Community also keeps us honest. It’s easy to get lost in spiritual bypassing or ego inflation when we’re alone. But in candid community, we’re reflected back to ourselves. We’re called to walk our talk. We’re supported when we stumble. I want that tough feedback because the nature of blindspots is to become blind to us again and again.

Q: How does working with my nervous system affect the energy I give off to others?

This was one of my biggest realizations at the Texas Yoga Retreat. Our nervous system is constantly broadcasting. When we’re disregulated, stressed, anxious, contracted, people feel that. They may not even understand why they want to move away. Like nails on a chalk board, our frequency becomes discordant and is tough to be near.

I started thinking about how we always talk about the “nervous” system, and how that language itself reinforces a state of nervousness, of being on edge. What if we reframed it? What if instead of operating from a state of nervousness, we operated from a state of connection to the Divine?

That’s the Ner-VINE system. When we’re connected to the Divine—through breath, through presence, through spiritual practice—our entire energetic field shifts. We become calm, open, receptive. And that’s what others feel when they’re around us. That’s what allows for deep connection.

The work we do on our nervous system through, it’s not just for us. It’s a gift we give to everyone we encounter. When we show up regulated, grounded, and connected to the Divine, we create a field of safety and possibility for others to drop in too. Just like we have to get our cars checked to make sure they aren’t polluting the air, how wonderful would it be if everyone began to take responsibility for the energy transmission they give off?

What’s Next: MIND Month

Next up is MIND month! We’ll be exploring the power of our thoughts, beliefs, and inner wisdom. Dave Lawson will be presenting some powerful tools for connecting with our inner wisdom at our next facilitator meetup. If you work in the transformational space, in any capacity, we would love for you to join us. If you would like to activate meetups in your city, reach out to me!

RSVP HERE!

INtegration is INtegrity. And INtegrity is wholeness.

Where is your structure not sound?
Where might you be out of integrity? With yourself, your relationships, your purpose?

These aren’t easy questions. But they lead to real transformation.

Integration isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being whole; the shadow and the light.

Got questions about integration, facilitation, or navigating transformation? Drop them in the comments or DM me. I’ll answer the most common ones in next month’s issue.

With gratitude and harmony,

Olivia Eden MacDonell
Founder, TAP Integration

P.S. If this resonated, forward it to someone who needs it. Integration works better in community.

TAP INtegration is partnering with Conscious Physician to release a practitioner training certification. Stay Tuned!

Follow TAP:

YouTube | Website

The first launch of this email didn’t quite go as planned. So if you already received this in your inbox, thank you for your graciousness! If you’re just seeing this for the first time…Welcome back to The Integration Chronicles 🌌—your go-to source for stories, insights, and inspiration from the world of psychedelic facilitation .

This month, we’re exploring SPIRIT🕊️—connection, prayer, reverence, and our relationship with the Earth. And who better to lead this conversation than, Mary Olivar, Executive Director of the Center for Shamanic Education and co-producer of our annual ACT conference fundraiser.

Mary’s work bridges indigenous spiritual practices, plant medicine wisdom, and deep earth connection. Her approach to integration centers on something simple yet profound: how we can live in right relationship with the natural world every single day. This conversation is beautiful and chock-full of wisdom and integration tools.

The Conversation

Olivia Eden: Looking back, what were some pivotal moments that led you to facilitation work, and what was your life like before you took that leap?

Mary Olivar: I actually don’t know if I know the answer to this question. I think it’s an answer that’s always evolving. Our story of our past is constantly changing depending on what day it is or what moment we’re looking back on.

I’ve always been a weirdo, so rather than a stop point or revelatory moment, it was a path of exploration and discovery. It was about clarifying and giving language to my prayer for life—how to show up, how to make the world a better place, how to be an instrument for Spirit, to bring forth more harmony, more understanding, connection, and love. Often that work has been inside myself to create more harmony, to bring in more softness, more kindness, more grace.

My first ceremonial journey was with teachers who had a lot of tools. It wasn’t just about the plant or the ceremony—it was part of their larger prayer, their connection to indigenous communities, their purpose work, and their service. That first experience exposed me to tools I now work with daily and share with others.

I’ve always been fortunate that my work has been mission-driven and usually always with plants. I worked for years in the natural foods industry, most notably with Whole Foods Market as the Healthy Eating coordinator. I’ve always been a plant pusher. I’ve always believed that the Earth is our source of healing, support, wisdom, joy, alignment, and good medicine. When I use the term medicine, I mean something that makes us whole, something that helps us remember and return to our blueprint of perfection.

Olivia Eden: What caused the shift from the natural food sector to stepping into ceremonial work? And did you decide you wanted to facilitate this work before or after your first ceremony?

Mary Olivar: Definitely after, and something that’s taken me many years to step into with a lot of reverence and smaller steps, because I have tremendous reverence for altered states and the plants as powerful teachers.

When I stepped out of work with Whole Foods, part of that was natural. I was very lucky to be in the heyday of mission-driven projects there. We were running education programs around things like seed oils before anyone talked about them. We were talking about no oils, using whole foods, using unprocessed foods. It was much more mainstream now, but we were doing this fifteen-plus years ago.

As Whole Foods changed direction with the Amazon acquisition, they pulled back from those purely mission-driven programs, stepping toward more conventional business practices. Around 2013, I was very curious about what was happening in the cannabis space, so I did work there as an advocate, advisor, and investor.

In parallel, I was stepping more into learning ceremony and shamanic practices. Shamanic refers to nature-based spirituality and the thread of lineage that indigenous people are holding. I believe we all come from shamanically practicing people. All of humanity comes from people who said hello to the Sun, who listened and communicated with birds, who were grateful for waters. These weren’t just parts of life collectively—they informed us, taught us, and kept us in good communication with the natural world.

The work I’ve learned and share through spiritual mentorship is helping us remember and return to a way that is very natural to our nervous systems, to our mind patterns, to things deeply ingrained in our physiology, DNA, and spirit patterns.

Olivia Eden: You work with peyote, which is less commonly discussed. I know the Center for Shamanic Education weaves peyote into the beautiful tapestries created by the communities you support. Could you speak to the medicine of peyote and the wisdom you’ve taken from that plant?

Mary Olivar: I’d rather not prescribe what the medicine is—I think it’s for people in their own inquiry and relationship. But I can speak from the lens of the communities we work with.
The Center for Shamanic Education supports indigenous-led spiritual initiatives through a non-extractive model that honors perpetuation, not extraction. We work with the Shipibo-Conibo communities in Peru’s Ucayali River Basin, supporting youth in traditional plant medicine practices and the creation of woven textiles called teles—cloths embedded with the visual vibrations of plant songs that are themselves considered healing medicine. We also partner with the Wixárika people of Mexico, who hold one of the world’s oldest peyote lineages. We recently helped secure UNESCO World Heritage status for Wirikuta, the peyote gardens and pilgrimage sites, protecting this delicate and endangered plant from agricultural and mining threats while supporting the communities whose spiritual practices depend on it.

What’s important to know about peyote is that while it is a grandfather wise teacher, it should be approached with reverence and curiosity about who is keeping it, who is sharing it, and what their relationship is—not only to the plant, but to the communities and land.

For people curious about peyote, you can be in good relationship and connection with a plant through prayer, through asking, through approaching it as you would a sacred teacher or elder. “I’d love to get to know you better.” Start that with awareness, do research, get involved with organizations moving toward peyote conservation methods. Ask questions about where it comes from and what the lineage is. You can also connect through the art—peyote art made with prayers and good relationship is another way to bring the medicine into your house.

Olivia Eden: I love that you highlight other ways to connect with medicine beyond ingestion. Why would someone approach peyote? What might they be searching for or wanting to learn?

Mary Olivar: I’d rather encourage people to start with being in curiosity about right relationship before putting out a shiny thing to step towards. The Wixárika people have a very powerful relationship with fire and with the Sun, and peyote is an aspect of that relationship. But I really want to reiterate being in encouragement for right relationship.

Olivia Eden: How could we use the tapestries and art for integration?

Mary Olivar: They’re beautiful mandala-style pieces. The Shipibo pieces have many plants woven into them. The Wixárika pieces have strong representations of the Sun, of peyote, of other allies. A visual meditation is one practice, but they also serve as reminders.

Many people are familiar with having an altar—a space of reverence that welcomes what’s on it into your house, giving it a special seat in your landscape. Art can be the same way. It reminds us and brings into presence these allies and helpers. You can connect with them every day. I have a beautiful Wixárika yarn painting with the Sun, snakes, hummingbirds, tobacco, peyote, and flowers. These are things in my field that I see every day, multiple times a day.

Integration isn’t just about practices and doing—it’s about how we bring these vibrations and relationships into the container of our lives in a way that’s natural and part of our daily practice. It can be something like saying hello to your water each morning and thanking it. It can be looking up and seeing a beautiful bird and honoring Ayahuasca or the plants it brings into your life. It’s surrounding yourself with the beauty and visual vibration of the medicines. I call it receiving medicine through the orifice of the eyes—an opening, a reminder, and reinforcement of that connection when you take a moment to connect with reverence and gratitude.

Olivia Eden: What is your favorite integration tool?

Mary Olivar: Laying on the ground. Laying on the earth. It’s something I often recommend to clients I work with in spiritual mentorship.

We talk a lot about the Earth, protecting her, our relationship with her as humans. But we can bring it into simple but profound practices of saying hello to our bodies. Our bodies are Earth. How we are in relationship with our bodies is representative of how we are in relationship with the Earth.

One of my favorite practices is to go lie down on the earth. Find a place where you can put a blanket down. It doesn’t have to be flesh to earth—be comfortable. It’s really nice to lay on your back, but even better is laying on your belly on the earth, putting everything down, working with gravity as an ally, and letting your belly button connect to the earth like an umbilicus. Feel yourself being received and held fully. Breathe out and really let go.

If you want to take it further, you can start to process and tell the earth whatever you’re holding—whatever’s in your mind, your heart, whatever’s heavy. The earth is a master composter. There’s not much she can’t break down over time. Trees give their leaves in the quiet season, and those turn into nutrients for the next growth cycle. You can be in that process too. You can let go of whatever is burdening you and tell it to her. There’s nothing you can tell the earth that she will judge you for or kick you off for. She will still just hold you with constancy and love.

When you feel complete, start to tell her your dreams. Start to tell her what you want to bring nourishment to, what you’d like to be supported and fertilized for in a season of growth. Maybe start inviting in the prayers of your heart you haven’t even whispered out loud yet.

Olivia Eden: You also do one-on-one work, song circles, tobacco blessings, and home clearings. What can people expect from working with you, and what exclusive offer can you share with our community?

Mary Olivar: The majority of my work is remote—phone or video, though usually audio. We do spiritual mentorship, talk about what’s going on in the person’s life, and then do shamanic clearing and energy work. Song is a big method I use. Through the songs, I’m able to see what allies are showing up. I have good relationships with different allies like the Earth, different birds, and different plants. Through the songs, I can feel into what ally is showing up for that person.

Every ally, every animal, every element shows up with different kinds of wisdom. If a tree spirit showed up, it would reinforce things about balance, timing, perspective, grounding, and also reaching—being grounded and expanded. These are some of the elements and qualities we might discuss and how to integrate that medicine more and look to the wisdom of that ally.

I offer house clearings and blessings for land—a way to reset energy, honor the space, and build relationship with it while setting your home’s vibration in resonance with your prayers. I also lead in-person song circles and Your Sacred Voice class here in Austin, working with the elements and allies to open your voice and reclaim singing as your natural birthright. Singing is our spiritual inheritance, and I love helping people step past the idea that only trained singers can sing, just as only priests can pray. I’m offering a 20% discount to Integration Chronicles listeners, and I encourage everyone to join our community gatherings around Austin—whether at swimming holes, song circles, art exhibits, or other events where we build connection together.

Facilitators, mark your calendar. October 21st in Austin, TX TAP INtegration and ACT are hosting a meetup for facilitators and practitioners. Explore sacred indigenous art, connect with other dynamic guides in the integration space, and learn from Mary Olivar how to work with the elements for spiritual hygiene and daily practice. This is your invitation to deepen your craft, expand your toolkit, and build community with fellow facilitators committed to authentic, respectful work. RSVP here!

Integration Tools Summary:

Laying on the Earth:

• Find a comfortable place, blanket optional

• Lay on your belly with belly button connecting to earth

• Let gravity be your ally, feel fully held

• Share what you’re carrying with the earth

• Then invite your dreams and prayers

• Even just breathing in support and out fear works

Visual Meditation with Sacred Art:

• Spend time looking at tapestries or art with reverence

• Notice the plants, symbols, and energies woven in

• Create a space in your home as an altar or special seat

• Connect daily with gratitude and presence

• Receive medicine through the eyes

Song and Voice:

• Singing is your natural birthright

• Work with the elements and directions through song

• Channel spirit through your voice

• Reclaim joy and uplift your energy

Spiritual Mentorship:

• Work with shamanic clearing and energy work

• Connect with allies and natural teachers

• Integrate their wisdom into daily life

• Build relationship with the natural world

Mary Olivar is Executive Director of the Center for Shamanic Education and co-producer of ACT, the annual South by Southwest fundraiser supporting shamanic practices and indigenous art. She offers remote spiritual mentorship, song circles, house clearings, and her Sacred Voice class in Austin. To connect with Mary and claim your 20% discount, visit:

Center for Shamanic Education & Exchange

Mary’s Website(TAPIN for 20% off)

Art Show in Austin through 11/3

The Integration Chronicles is on a mission to simplify psychedelic integration by providing accessible tools for transformation. This month, we’re exploring spirit—connection, prayer, reverence, and our relationship with the natural world. Support us by subscribing to the newsletter! We love being sharing our tools with you!

Friend,

Guess what? TAP Integration’s newsletter just got a “paper lift”😆. We switched over to Substack and changed the name to INtegrate. So, I wanted to take this opportunity to reintroduce myself and the purpose of the newsletter!

To the new peeps and to the faithful readers, thank you! Thank you, for coming along with me on this journey of integration! You’re not here by accident. Something’s shifting. Maybe a psychedelic experience blew your world apart. Maybe you’re helping someone piece theirs back together. Or maybe you just sense that there’s a bigger, deeper, truer version of you waiting on the other side of all this.

I’m Olivia Eden MacDonell. Six years ago, my world had just blown apart.

MDMA therapy didn’t just change my life. It gave me one.

I healed from complex PTSD. I recovered memories I didn’t know I’d lost. And for the first time in 15 years, I felt empathy. It was like I took the thick, rock-hard crab shell that had encased my little emotional cancer heart and tossed it straight into oblivion.

Beautiful? Yes.

Transformational? Absolutely.

A complete disaster? Also yes.

A Beautiful Disaster

There’s a falling away that begins to happen. One of my clients said, “It’s like sculpting. We start out like a big blocky blob. As we grow, expand, and change, we chisel away the things that no longer serve us until we emerge as this beautiful piece of art.”

Now, we already are the beautiful piece of art. With a little “falling away” and “falling apart,” we just become more and more of who we actually are.

My falling apart? More like a hurricane whirling chunks of cinderblock near and far. “Watch out! She’s about to blow,” you may have heard a loved one warn.

The medicine blew me open. Insights, tidal waves of emotions, and wild energy poured out of me. I had no support. No understanding. And definitely no tools to integrate what I’d experienced.

So I let it all explode outward.

The life I’d known? Gone.

Many of the people I knew? Gone too. Ha!

I transformed, yes. But I also unmoored myself, ungrounded myself, and got completely lost in the aftermath.

That’s when I realized: the medicine opens the door. Integration is what you do once you step through.

Why I Built TAP Integration

I started my practice as a medicine facilitator. And I immediately started developing a system. Not just for my clients. For the version of me who desperately needed one six years ago. And I continue to learn and INtegrate right alongside my soul family.

I dedicated my life to two things:

1. Simplifying what integration actually means

2. Making the tools accessible to each unique individual

Integration isn’t one-size-fits-all. Just like everyone has their own unique path to truth, everyone has the integration path that works for them.

Integration is how you decide to live out the rest of your life.

Through TAP Integration, I broke it down into four dimensions that make it real, actionable, and sustainable:

Mind. Body. Heart. Spirit.

What Is INtegrate?

This newsletter gives you everything you need to live an integrated life.

Each month, we cycle through one dimension—Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit. I curate tools, resources, and practices specifically for that theme.

You get:

• Podcast recommendations that shift your perspective

• Exclusive interviews with facilitators doing the work

• Practical tools you can use today

• Monthly Q&A where I answer your real questions

• Challenges that help you build habits that stick

You’re a facilitator looking for integration tools for your clients? You’re in the right place.

You’re navigating your own transformation? You’re in the right place.

This Month’s Theme: Spirit

Let’s start at the horizon.

Spirit isn’t about religion. (Though it can be.) It’s not about believing the “right” things or performing the “right” rituals.

Spirit is connection, meaning, awe, and purpose.

It’s that feeling of being part of something larger than yourself. It’s gratitude that moves through your body like a wave. It’s the moment you realize your healing isn’t just for you. You can give it back to the world.

After a psychedelic experience, the spiritual dimension often hits hardest. You feel interconnected with everything. You touch transcendence. You know, in your bones, that there’s more.

But then you come back to regular life. The question becomes: How do I keep this alive?

That’s what this month explores.

🎧 Podcast Recommendation: Consciousness

“Plug into the mainframe of consciousness with Vision and Olivia as they toggle between Ram Dass, AI, and the secret wisdom of trees. What if being “no body” is the ultimate superpower, and the universe is just an ever-evolving matrix of electric information where we’re all transistors with a few kinky wires? The real question: Are you a Conductor, a Resistor, or a Circuit Breaker?”

🙏 My Favorite Integration Tool: Gratitude

It sounds simple. But gratitude is one of the most powerful tools I know for anchoring spiritual insight into daily life. “Thank you for the hardship that open me up to compassion and understanding.” Say “thank you” in your practice to connect you to the present moment of receiving.

📅 30-Day Gratitude Challenge

Start every morning with gratitude. I’ll share prompts and videos on YouTube to guide you. Together we will slowly rewire our default mode from cup half empty to half full, finding small anchors of meaning, even on the hard days.

👉 Follow along on YouTube here

💬 Monthly Q&A

Got questions about integration, facilitation, or navigating transformation? Drop them in the comments or DM me. I’ll answer the most common ones in next month’s issue.

At the end of the day, INtegration is INtegrity. And INtegrity is wholeness.

Think about a building. When the structure isn’t sound, you don’t ignore it. You repair it. You reinforce it. You make it whole again.

The same goes for us.

Where is your structure not sound?

Where might you be out of integrity? With yourself, your relationships, your purpose?

These aren’t easy questions. But they lead to real transformation.

Integration isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being whole. Cracks, repairs, and all.

Join the TAP Community

Every month, TAP INtegration powers facilitator meetups in different cities. They are educational, interactive, and experiential. Honestly just really fun. We dive deep, share stories, and practice tools together.

DM me for details about the next one near you.

Here are some photos from our recent gatherings:

Let’s Do This Together

Transformation doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in connection. With yourself. With others. With something greater.

I’m so glad you’re here.

Let’s build the bridge.

With gratitude,

Olivia Eden MacDonell

Founder, TAP Integration

P.S. If this resonated, forward it to someone who needs it. Integration works better together.

What did you think of this issue? Reply and let me know. I read every message.

TAP INtegration Facilitator Training coming soon!

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It’s no coincidence that in September, Heart month, I find myself navigating a broken heart. From what better place can I write to you about the Heart—everything to do with emotional processing, emotional release, freeing up the blockages that keep us from fully feeling?

TAP Integration is here to simplify integration. Integration → Integrity → Wholeness. By segmenting integration into 4 categories—Mind, Body, Heart, and Spirit—we can break down the focus into small, digestible steps.

Today, I’m sharing the tools I’ve been using to move through heart pain while remaining centered in the trust and knowing that EVERYTHING is always working out for me and through me.

The Beauty of a Broken Heart

Here’s what I know about the beauty of a broken heart: when the heart breaks open, all the scar tissue opens, all the blockages rupture, and the light comes bursting through... cue Leonard Cohen.

From this place, I can feel everything—the tenderness, the openness, and the opportunity to flood myself with love and worthiness. I can use this moment to allow grief to move through.

The most important thing I know about our human ability to feel and increase our bandwidth for emotions: we have to open the valve on both ends of the emotional spectrum. Grief ↔ Ecstatic Joy. In order to reach new heights of happiness, peace, and joy, we have to open the valve to let sadness and grief move through.

I sat with medicine yesterday to help accentuate the grieving process—what could have been, the family that could have been born, the partnership, the union. Here is what came through:

“I love you, thank you. Thank you for the gift you gave me to experience true, healthy, trustworthy love. Thank you for the opportunity to experience peace in relationship, secure attachment, and non-violent communication. Thank you for the gift of love you gave me!”

💡 Integration Tips: Moving Through Heartbreak

1 — Open the Emotional Valve Allow grief to move through without resistance. Remember: emotions are energy in motion. As we let them flow, we free up energy to feel lighter and more open.

2 — Morning Heart Practice Start each day with breathwork and self-love affirmations. Let your nervous system remember it’s safe to feel deeply.

3 — Find the Gift Ask: “What did this experience teach me about love? How can this broken heart serve others and bring me closer to those who need it?”

🎥 Video of the Month

“Divine Timing Never Fails — Everything Happens at the Right Moment” I’ve watched this video five times in the last couple of days, and it has filled me with profound peace and trust that everything is happening at the right time.

TAP INtegration Updates

We just co-hosted the most beautiful facilitator gathering in New Mexico with the Conscious Physician. We had a multi-generational, multi-racial gathering of some of the most heart-centered MD’s, researchers, and practitioners in the psychedelic industry.The connection, the learning, the heart-centered community, everything we believe integration should be. The next one in Albuquerque is Oct 4th!

Plus, mark your calendars: we have our ACT HEART-themed facilitator meetup in Austin on September 29th. Come join us as we explore what it means to integrate with an open heart.

Our software is pivoting to support facilitators by handling the administrative tasks so you can stay in your zone of genius, deepening connection and supporting real transformation.

If you’re ready to try the tool that’s quietly revolutionizing the psychedelic integration space, respond to this email!

Newsletter Rebrand Coming Soon!

This newsletter is getting a rebrand: INtegrate - so stay tuned for that evolution.

Your Integration Journey

Thank you for this broken heart. Let it serve others. Let it bring me closer to those who need it.

You are not broken

You are breaking open.

You are not too much

You are exactly enough to feel it all

Integration is how we learn to alchemize our pain into purpose, our wounds into wisdom.

We’re with you. In all of it.

Olivia & The TAP Team 🫀

Welcome back to The Integration Chronicles 🌌—your go-to source for stories, insights, and inspiration from the world of psychedelic facilitation .

What happens after the profound experience ends? That question led me to create The Integration Chronicles.

Every week, I sit down with the trailblazers, healers, and guides who’ve figured out how to turn peak experiences into lasting change.

You’ll find raw stories, practical tools, and insights that bridge the sacred and everyday. Whether you’re curious about integration practices, fascinated by facilitators’ journeys, or seeking tools for your own path, this is for you.

The real magic happens in the integration.

This month, we’re diving deep into body-based integration practices, and I’m thrilled to share this conversation with Stephanie, an entheogenic integration facilitator based in Berlin who weaves together somatic movement, non-dual Tantra, and compassionate inquiry in her work.

Stephanie’s path to facilitation is as unique as it is inspiring—from corporate brand strategy to psychedelic integration, with a transformative vision quest that literally helped her find her voice. Click the link above to watch the full interview.

The Conversation

Olivia Eden: Stephanie, your journey into this work has such an interesting origin story. Can you share what led you from brand strategy to psychedelic integration?

Stephanie: It really started with a spontaneous invitation from a friend in 2012. I had just moved to New York and was working as a brand strategist, and she invited me to volunteer at Horizons—the psychedelic conference. I didn’t know anything about the space beyond college experimentation.

Volunteering there completely blew my mind. Seeing the researchers, scientists, anthropologists, and the vast array of realms that psychedelics touches—arts, legal, cultural, social, scientific, spiritual. It opened this whole new world for me.

But the real “aha” moment came later when I was freelancing for the Drug Policy Alliance, conducting focus groups in the psychedelic community. I kept hearing the same thing: “The part that’s so challenging is afterwards—what do we do?” This was 2012, when integration wasn’t talked about nearly as much as today. With my coaching background, I saw this beautiful connection—ways to support people in making these experiences truly impactful.

Olivia Eden: That’s such a beautiful example of skill stacking. But I know there’s another foundational experience that shaped your path—can you share about your father’s illness and how that influenced your spiritual journey?

Stephanie: From ages 9 to 20, I watched my father battle cancer for ten years—half the time I had with him. Being witness to that process during such formative years really led me to spirituality and this path. It’s the reason I have this fascination with understanding: what is life, what’s death? What does it mean to be alive? What is real and what lies beyond? That experience is at the core and foundation of my work.

Olivia Eden: That’s profound. Now, you mentioned a vision quest experience that was particularly transformative. Can you share about that journey?

Stephanie: My first vision quest was in 2019 when I was 32, in the Spanish Pyrenees through the School of Lost Borders. It was a 10-day experience—three days of preparation with the group, four days and three nights of solo fasting in nature, then three days of integration.

For me, this became a rite of passage from girlhood to womanhood. One of the things that marked my growing up was this pattern of getting smaller, being small. I felt comfortable doing that, even though deep down it didn’t feel authentic to who I wanted to be.

During the solo portion, this song came to me spontaneously—complete with lyrics and rhythm. I was using my fist on my chest as the beat. Despite my lifelong fear of speaking in public, I knew I had to share this song with the group during our integration circle. Even talking about it now makes me shake a little, but that moment was such a huge full-body, full-being integration of finding my voice.

Olivia Eden: That gives me chills. How has that experience of literally finding your voice influenced how you work with clients now?

Stephanie: Since integrating my own experiences and finding what works for me, I’ve realized how varied and multifaceted integration can be. What I bring to my approach are all the things that really worked for me—the non-dual Tantra path, hatha yoga, meditation, and somatic movement. That’s how I make all these experiences part of my actual life and lifestyle.

I’ve also incorporated Gabor Maté’s compassionate inquiry approach, which is trauma-informed and somatically grounded. It’s been a total game changer for the depth I can go with clients—really getting to the roots of things and healing at much deeper levels.

Olivia Eden: Speaking of somatic approaches, can you share a practical integration tool that someone could use if they’re experiencing a trigger or need to reset their nervous system?

Stephanie: The most helpful thing for me is the simplest: feeling my feet on the ground, really noticing where I am, the things around me. Then coming back to the breath—taking a few deep breaths where I exhale longer than the inhale. Sometimes I do this even when I’m on the move and feel a subtle trigger. Just those few breaths where I can exhale longer start to calm my system again.

Once I’ve calmed down, then I can inquire: “What’s happening for me right now?” Maybe I’m feeling shortness of breath or sick in my stomach. Just naming what I notice, because that awareness is so helpful.

Olivia Eden: And if someone wanted to take that inquiry deeper?

Stephanie: I always start with: what am I feeling? What’s present? What am I experiencing right now? This comes from compassionate inquiry—just staying with what’s happening in your body in this present moment. Instead of jumping to the head, stay with the sensation, the feeling, the emotion.

Sometimes people find it hard to name what they’re feeling, and that’s okay. Maybe it’s a color, maybe a texture, maybe an image comes to mind. I might ask a client: do you feel like a blue, sticky substance in your stomach? Those sensory descriptions are all helpful and keep us embodied rather than going back up to the head.

Olivia Eden: I can feel how grounded and present you are just talking to you, which speaks to how well you’ve mastered these techniques. For anyone interested in working with you, do you have any special offerings for our readers?

Stephanie: Absolutely. It’s been such a gift to be part of this community you’re building. For anyone who mentions The Integration Chronicles when they reach out, I’d love to offer 10% off sessions.

Olivia Eden: That’s so generous. Thank you, Stephanie, for sharing your story and these practical tools with us. Your journey from staying small to finding your voice is such a powerful example of what integration can look like when we truly embody the work.

Stephanie facilitates entheogenic integration, non-dual Tantra meditation, hatha yoga, and somatic movement practices from Berlin. Her approach weaves together spirituality, trauma-informed healing, and somatic exploration. To connect with Stephanie and learn more about her 10% discount for Integration Chronicles readers, her contact info is: Email, Instagram, and Website!

The Integration Chronicles is on a mission to simplify integration by providing accessible tools for transformation. Each month, we focus on different aspects of integration—this August, we’re exploring everything related to the body, somatic practices, and nervous system regulation.

Dear Explorer,

This August, I want to invite you into a practice that’s changed everything for me, a somatic version of the Miracle Morning. When life feels chaotic, this is the routine I dial back in.

After my own psychedelic journeys, I’ve often come back lit up with insight! However, it’s so easy to let the lessons float away when there’s no anchor. This morning practice became my anchor and my way to attune back into harmony in my life.

Have you ever heard someone play a guitar that was out of tune? Yikes! Well, that becomes the way our vibrations are heard and felt around others and the universe when we don’t spend time attuning ourselves. Each of us are like that guitar. We need a little tuning every day.

⚡️August Integration Theme: Somatic Alignment in the Morning

Inspired by Hal Elrod’s SAVERS framework (Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing), this month we’re infusing each element with body-first practices:

• Silence: Start with breathwork or body scans

• Affirmations: Say them while stretching or holding power poses

• Visualization: Use movement or sound to amplify the vision

• Exercise: Make it short—sun salutes, a dance, a shake

• Reading: Just one powerful paragraph that lights your fire

• Scribing: Journal one page or voice note how your body feels today

⏰ This can take 15 minutes or stretch into an hour. Start small, with one practice, hone it, and then add on!

Otherwise, join the group below and get the biggest Somatic bang for your Miracle buck!

🎯 Take the 3 Week Somatic Morning Challenge

How would your life change if you started every morning in alignment?

Join TAP Integration for a 3-week challenge designed to help you reconnect with your body and create a steady rhythm for your mornings.

We’ll use a simplified, somatic version of the Miracle Morning framework—infused with breathwork, movement, and practices that help regulate your nervous system.

🗓️ Kickoff Gathering: August 11th- September 1st. 7am

Join us for our morning launch, in person in Austin, TX or virtually from anywhere.

Let’s Somatically SAVER together.

👉 RSVP Here

🎵 Medicine Music Playlist: Morning Flow

This month’s playlist was created by one of my favorite breathwork facilitators, Mandy Kleint. You can find her at 3rd Eye Lounge, Thursdays at 6:30pm.

Think soft beats, breath-paced rhythm, and tunes that help your nervous system say, “I’m safe. I’m ready. Let’s go.”

👉 Listen to Flow

Olivia’s Top Picks: BODY Edition

Bliss Labs Functional Mushroom Extracts
Bliss has been a game changer for my energy levels! I love the pure concentration of the adaptogens. Every morning, I squirt a little bit into my coffee. My energy stays consistent throughout the day.

Bliss Labs is on a mission to elevate mental wellness with powerful mushroom blends for mood, focus, and immunity. No fillers, just pure, dual-extracted magic.

👉 Get yours here

🧘 Texas Yoga Retreat – 25th Anniversary!
One of my favorite BODY rituals is yoga in the Hill Country with beautiful humans. My friend Ellen Smith has hosted this retreat for 25 years, and it’s an absolute dream. Join me this October!

👉 Learn More

🧠 Blog of the Month:

“Harmony Starts Here: The Somatic Miracle Morning”
Coming soon…
I’ll be sharing a personal story about how this practice became my lifeline after a difficult transition. If you’ve ever felt ungrounded post-journey (or just post-life), this blog is for you.

Stay tuned for the release later this month!

📲 TAP App Updates

If you’re a facilitator, book a 15-min onboarding call with me. I’ll show you the hidden magic built just for you.

👉 Download TAP Integration

❤️ Your Integration Journey

Your body holds the rhythm of your healing.
This month, let it lead.

Whether you’re shaking out old stories, stretching into new beginnings, or sitting in silence with your heart, know that we’re right there with you.

Breathe in, Breathe out, and Begin again.

With love and movement,
Olivia

Welcome to The Integration Chronicles 🌌—your go-to source for stories, insights, and inspiration from the world of psychedelic facilitation . Each issue, we spotlight the trailblazers, healers, and guides helping others navigate the transformative power of psychedelics . Whether you’re curious about integration practices 🧘‍♀️, fascinated by the journey of facilitators, or seeking tools to support your own path, you’ll find wisdom and connection here 🤝. Let’s explore the depths of healing and transformation together.

In this edition, we sit down with Walter Screnci, a transformative facilitator who shares his journey from struggling with addiction to embracing a new path of self-love and empowerment. Wally offers valuable insights into the tools and practices he uses in his work, including sacred geometry, the Gene Keys, and the importance of receiving help. Join us as we explore his unique approach to integration and how he helps others harness the power of their transformation.

The Conversation

Olivia: Welcome to The Integration Chronicles! TAP Integration is on a mission to define integration, create accessible tools for transformation, and empower facilitators to amplify their gifts. I’m so excited to have Wally with us today. Your work is amazing, and we’re grateful to feature you. Can you share what led you into facilitation work?

Wally: Thanks for having me, Olivia! My journey into facilitation is a bit of a transformation in itself. I had a pivotal moment in my life where I realized I needed to make a change, and it all started with a conversation with my cousin. He asked me a simple but powerful question: “Don’t you want to know what life would be like if you weren’t so heavy?” That question led me to decide to make a drastic change in my life. Fast forward, I lost a lot of weight, shifted my life direction, and overcame addiction. But it wasn’t until I got sober that I found my true calling in facilitation.

Olivia: That sounds like a huge turning point. How did your personal transformation shape your facilitation work?

Wally: It really comes down to understanding the relationship we have with the tools we use to regulate ourselves. I used food, alcohol, and substances as ways to cope, and it wasn’t until I faced my addictions head-on that I realized it’s not about the substances themselves—it’s about the relationship we have with them. That realization opened up my path to facilitation, where I now help others see that their challenges—whether it’s addiction or something else—are just part of the larger picture of their transformation.

Olivia: What role does self-care and setting boundaries play in your work with others?

Wally: Self-care is huge. For me, it’s about honoring myself first and not getting caught up in people-pleasing behaviors. When I was younger, I was the class clown and always trying to win everyone’s approval. It wasn’t until I learned to say, “No, I’m going to take care of me first,” that I was able to fully show up for others. In my facilitation work, I’ve learned that setting boundaries and being authentic in what I share is crucial for both me and my clients.

Olivia: You mentioned something about meaningful coincidences. Can you share a powerful experience that shaped your path?

Wally: Yes, definitely. One of the most significant moments came when I had an experience with 5-MeO-DMT. During the ceremony, I brought in the integration tools from a previous experience, including sacred geometry. Out of the blue, a spider crawled out of my integration box and sat on my heart throughout the ceremony. The symbolism of the spider was so profound—it led me to understand the interconnectedness of all things and the importance of letting go and receiving. From that moment on, the spider became my teacher, guiding me on a journey of deep introspection and transformation.

Olivia: What is one powerful integration tip you would offer someone navigating addiction or using substances as a regulation tool?

Wally: The first step is always to ask for help. That’s something I struggled with for a long time. We tend to give so much to others, but asking for help is an act of self-love and transformation. When we get out of our own way and open ourselves up to support, that’s when true change happens. Another tool is following the breadcrumbs of synergies. After my DMT experience, I started seeing signs everywhere, and I followed them—this helped me find the right tools for my path, including the Gene Keys and sacred geometry. It’s all about trusting the process and being open to what comes your way.

Olivia: That’s so powerful. Before we wrap up, can you share how our listeners can connect with you or explore more of your work?

Wally: Absolutely! You can find me on social media or visit my website, where I offer one-on-one Gene Key readings, integration coaching, and more. I blend shamanic practices, sacred geometry, and light language into my work, which has been incredibly transformative for my clients. My offerings are designed to help you tune into your true essence and align with your soul’s purpose. I’d love to connect with anyone who feels called to this work.

WALLY SCRENCI

QUANTUM HARMONICS READINGS

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Thanks for joining us in this edition of The Integration Chronicles. We hope Wally’s story and insights inspire you on your own integration journey. Stay tuned for more empowering stories, tools, and guidance from the facilitators who are shaping the future of psychedelic integration.

If you enjoyed this and want more newsletters just like it, here are two of my absolute favorites:

The Psychedelic Blog – A thought-provoking space dedicated to exploring the intersections of psychedelics, wellness, and the human experience.

Tricycle Day – A playful, inspiring newsletter that brings fresh perspectives on personal transformation and collective consciousness.

Welcome to The Integration Chronicles 🌌—your go-to source for stories, insights, and inspiration from the world of psychedelic facilitation 🍄. Each issue, we spotlight the trailblazers, healers, and guides helping others navigate the transformative power of psychedelics . Whether you’re curious about integration practices 🧘‍♀️, fascinated by the journey of facilitators, or seeking tools to support your own path, you’ll find wisdom and connection here 🤝. Let’s explore the depths of healing and transformation together.

In this edition, we sit down with Dr. Lida Fatemi, an osteopathic physician and facilitator, who shares her journey from burnout to self-love and how she navigates her facilitation work. She discusses energy leaks, boundary setting, and self-care methods, all while helping others integrate their psychedelic journeys into everyday life.

The Conversation

Olivia: Welcome to The Integration Chronicles! TAP Integration is on a mission to define integration, create accessible tools for transformation, and empower facilitators to amplify their gifts. I’m so excited to have Dr. Lida with us today. Your work is amazing, and we’re grateful to feature you. Can you share what led you into facilitation work?

Dr. Lida: Thank you for having me! For me, the pivotal moment came with a private psilocybin session by a river in New Mexico. It felt like a rebirth, a profound experience that opened me up to the idea of stepping into the role of facilitator. I had to heal and process my own traumas before I felt energetically ready to guide others, but after that experience, I knew it was time to step up.

Olivia: It sounds like a truly transformative moment. How did that journey shape your approach to facilitation?

Dr. Lida: It’s all about integrating what we’ve learned and embodying it. Integration is the key to bringing clarity, compassion, and joy into our lives. We have to continuously work through our own blocks, energy leaks, and self-sabotage. When we do that, we’re able to guide others from a grounded place of authenticity and self-love.

Olivia: Speaking of self-love, how does people-pleasing show up in your work and how have you shifted away from it?

Dr. Lida: People-pleasing used to be a huge block for me. I would prioritize others to the point of neglecting myself, and that drained my energy. As a facilitator, it’s important to set boundaries. We can’t just tell people what they want to hear. Sometimes, you need to say, “this is what I’m seeing,” even if it’s tough for them to hear. Setting boundaries, both with clients and with yourself, is essential for maintaining your own well-being and ensuring you’re serving others authentically.

Olivia: So, how can someone begin to move through people-pleasing behaviors after a transformative journey?

Dr. Lida: It starts with self-awareness. You have to identify where you’re feeling pressure, whether it’s physical or emotional. Once you recognize the sensation of overextending yourself, sit with it and observe where it comes from. Practicing self-care—such as meditation and rituals—helps you reconnect with your heart and step away from the people-pleasing patterns that no longer serve you. It’s about honoring yourself first.

Olivia: Self-care sounds like a powerful tool in this journey. What are some of your favorite practices for maintaining that balance?

Dr. Lida: One of my favorite practices is a morning ritual that grounds me for the day. I meditate for five to ten minutes, write down my dreams, and use my crystals to center myself. I also ring a bell with intention and gratitude, which sets a positive tone for the day. Hydration is also key—our bodies are made up of mostly water, and when we’re dehydrated, the energy can’t flow properly. Community support is another crucial part of integration. Surrounding yourself with people who are on a similar path helps keep you grounded and supported.

Olivia: That’s beautiful. Before we wrap up, can you share how our listeners can connect with you or explore more of your work?

Dr. Lida: I’m active on Facebook, Instagram, and a bit on TikTok. You can also visit my website, DrLidaFatemi.com, where I offer facilitation, coaching, and a variety of self-discovery tools. I recently wrote a book on energy evolution that combines spirituality, science, and practical tools for integration. It’s available on my website, Amazon, and Audible. I’m also transitioning my work into a nonprofit to expand my reach and help more people.

Turning Resistance Into Strength 💡

Resistance. It’s the invisible wall between where you are and where you want to be.

Read time: 2 minutes

“We make psychedelic integration fun and accessible, blending wisdom with action to support your unique journey of growth and self-discovery.”

This month, we’re focusing on the power of doing hard shit—the tasks, challenges, and commitments we avoid but need the most. Overcoming resistance isn’t about waiting for motivation; it’s about building the courage to show up, especially when it feels impossible.

When you commit to doing the hard thing, you transform. Not because the task is magical, but because showing up is.

Integration Tip for January: Commit to One Hard Thing

This week, choose one thing you’ve been procrastinating on—just one.

1. Start Small: Set a timer for 10 minutes and begin.

2. Celebrate the Start: Completing the task isn’t the goal today—starting is.

3. Repeat: Show up tomorrow for another 10 minutes. Build momentum one step at a time.

Each time you face resistance and act anyway, you become stronger. This isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress.

Blog for the Month: The Art of Doing Hard Shit

Our featured blog this month, The Art of Doing Hard Shit: A Plebeian’s Guide to Beating Resistance, dives into the transformative power of facing resistance head-on. Inspired by Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, this is your guide to shifting from procrastinator to warrior.
👉 Read the Full Blog Here

Playlist: Molly’s Party 🎶

Created by craniosacral therapist Justin Kanewske, Molly’s Party is a heart medicine ceremony playlist that’s guaranteed to move your soul and body. Perfect for those moments when you need a lift or want to feel fully alive.
👉 Listen to Molly’s Party Here

Connect with Justin directly to book a session at innerbalanceatx@gmail.com.

Your Integration Journey

Resistance will always be there, whispering excuses and doubts. But this month, I challenge you to see resistance as a teacher, not an enemy. Choose one hard thing and start. Remember, transformation doesn’t come from waiting—it comes from showing up.

With gratitude and courage,
Olivia